Getting married at 19 :O

I'm 19 and I wouldn't even consider getting married till I'm in my 30's, relationship pending of course. You're so young and there's so much to think about, make sure you're ready to do this. It's honestly better to wait till after college when you've got yourself established and you know where you want to go in life. If you were going to go to college, it'd be tough if you both wanted to go to separate schools. I think you're really just too young to know who you are and what your long term goals are, and later on you might regret settling down early and not enjoying your youth.

That one day of getting married won't really change anything about the relationship, but at the same time it'll change everything. It's a really adult decision you need to make, and there's nothing wrong with getting married at that age, but make sure you're prepared for it entirely. I hate seeing people get married and divorced so young, think it through.
 
Anglis said:
Hey I'm not saying that it has a 100% failure rate haha. It's just usually not a good idea. I also said it went for people already married, not stopping people from getting married.

Me and my girlfriend thought about it, but decided to stay in separate living arrangments till marriage, which is next July!

Goodluck though, like I said, it only ups the chance of divorce by 19% in an already high divorce rate country, which is 51% right now.
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The culture and media institute has shown that women who live with their partner before marriage and have not lived with another partner have a lower divorce rate.

So if he is the first man shes lived with they should live together first!
 
Lyrai said:
That one day of getting married won't really change anything about the relationship.
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It doesnt but it does... i love her to death i wouldnt change anything about us for the world only reason why itll change is the 3000 miles that are seperating us will be gone, and i can be with her again she lives back home right now :\ it sucks not being with her, im 1000000098374u893748923% positive *yes i threw a 'u' in there* that im doing the right thing if thought it through plenty of times im ready and i have found the person ill be with for the rest of my life, and if i get divorced ill have some one kick me in the balls, video tape it, and ill put it up here..
 
having gotten married myself after living with my wife for a while, I realized just how much things change when you make "the decision." Think it thru very well, im not as young as you, but getting married at such a young age usually ends in disaster my friend. Remember that after this, whats yours is hers, and whats hers, usually stays hers as well in the case of a separation. Make plenty of plans ahead of time so you dont end up like most young military couples (with you on the street and she taking you for all youre worth and then some). I know it sounds pessimistic, but its the truth, look the facts up.
 
Novolo said:
Thanks ele :)

Getting married young isnt a bad thing guys, i know alot of people who have and are happy as hell
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You're the one who implied that there were negative impacts when you titled the thread. You could have easily titled it "Getting married :O", instead you added the "at 19" as if it were some kind of scandal or something.
Blame yourself, brah.
 
Good luck man.
 
Anglis said:
If you think you have to live with the person to know you're sexually compatible, then something is wrong. If you have to live with someone to know you can get along, then something is wrong.
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I didn't say that.

I said, you NEED to live together to know how you're going to handle the finances AS A COUPLE.

It would be the same as getting married without having slept together yet, how would you know you are SEXUALLY compatible.

Just clearing things up ^^

I did say I meant no disrespect as well.

What do I know though, I've only been with the same man for 9 years and lived with him 5..

People will make their own choices, that's fine, they're the one's that have to live with the outcome. I just hope for everyone their outcomes will always be positive, that's just not the case more times than not now-a-days.

*** I am not married for a few reasons;
1. I still feel I'm young and in no rush.
2. I am secure in knowing my boyfriend is not going anywhere soon as he is completely committed to spending his life with me.
3. We are NOT financially fit to spend our money on a wedding, it'll happen when it happens. There's no law stating we EVER have to marry, the commitment is there, legality is bullshit, if we were religious it would probably be different.
 
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I don't know about any of that. Personally, I'd much rather live with the woman I'm marrying before marrying her for at least a little while. Sometimes things just don't work out, and often times it's after a couple combines the little things in life. If a couple can work through the little things that may peeve them about one another, then to me that would mean it's something to be successful later.

I personally would never marry a woman before living with her. I think, and very strong the scenario would set someone up for failure if that didn't happen.

Sexual compatability, however, I agree with. You do not need to live with someone to know if you are compatable. That's a duh statement. Typically you don't start living with someone before you start sleeping with someone, but that may just be me.

My girlfriend is moving in with me in February, and I'm glad she is, personally. To blatantly state that I'm dooming myself by doing so is being equally as blind to any other possible situation or outcome. Sure it could fail, but by the same logical reasoning, it could also succeed by the very same merit. What tears some apart may actually bring others closer.
 
Xalioniaf said:
You're the one who implied that there were negative impacts when you titled the thread. You could have easily titled it "Getting married :O", instead you added the "at 19" as if it were some kind of scandal or something.
Blame yourself, brah.
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Being called an idiot made it negative ;) lol i was simply seeing what people would say i just wana know what people think negative or positive ;p
 
I moved in with my woman last february.

I was 19.

We decided to get married, date was set for July 09.

We made it through the lease term, and 6 months after moving and and deciding to get married, we are broken up, and working at starting our relationship completely over.

One thing that moving in can do is cause you to lose yourself. I became null and void, and lost myself. I wasnt acting how i normally would, i was so plain.

After breaking up I slowly became myself again, and now we are working it out successfully.

So, dont lose yourself (in the music the moment you ... *hah*)
 
lot of good advice in this thread from both sides, thanks for making it
 
too young, too soon brotha. I got married @ 20, and now at 24 am seperated as of this past week. My best friend got married at 20, and this past week began the process for divorce as well ironically. Its been a long depressing process which led me to the worst night of my life saturday, I wish i would have taken all the advice i was given in the beginning to not get married right away and wait and see if it was what i wanted to do...but, we people are stubborn and like to learn our lessons the hard way.
Not to say that may be the outcome for you, just the most common one.
Good luck brave sir.
Btw, my friend also got married so he could be on base with his girlfriend, they have a baby not even 6 months old yet and have recently moved back home when all the problems began. Sounds like a good idea but he regrets it now. Being stationed isnt forever, but marriage is a cage man...once you have kids you will never know what its like to be miserable and trapped at the same time because you cant simply just leave because of the kids,
that decision took me a year to come to and destroyed me in the process. dont go makin babies if you do this!!
 
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im not gonna even think about kids for a while :p kids as of right now are out of the picture
 
Novolo said:
im not gonna even think about kids for a while :p kids as of right now are out of the picture
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Thats the thing, you dont "plan" or "prepare" to have kids, it just happens sometimes. For all you know, SHE wants kids and will try to get pregnant even though you arent ready to have kids. Best thing to do is to be very careful to not get her pregnant because having children also changes things somewhat, just like getting married does. Best of luck either way. :)
 
Xalioniaf said:
You're the one who implied that there were negative impacts when you titled the thread. You could have easily titled it "Getting married :O", instead you added the "at 19" as if it were some kind of scandal or something.
Blame yourself, brah.
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adding "at 19" doesn't automatically imply negativity, nor does it make it sound like a scandal. The way I read it, it implies that he's happy he found the right one at such a young age.
 
Uzor said:
adding "at 19" doesn't automatically imply negativity, nor does it make it sound like a scandal. The way I read it, it implies that he's happy he found the right one at such a young age.
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Well it's open to interpretation.
 
Morcheeba said:
That's friggin insanity!!

I don't care about stats, it's the same as entering a marriage without first having sex with said person... INSANITY, you'll never know (until it's too late) whether you're compatible.
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lol? <_<

Is this really what people have come down to now? Sex compatibility? D:
 
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