How do you fix a virgin?

[CmdrFly]

My roomie is broken.

Everything he does, everything he represents, pisses me off.

I'm a pain in the ass to live with, but my woman's been able to compromise and we live at a happy equilibrium. I know what to complain about and what not to, she knows what to respond to and what to retaliate at. We coo.

We've been living with another guy for a couple years now though, and honestly I never really noticed his issues too much because it's only been the 3 of us for a couple of months (before that, we lived in a house of 5).

I know he's a virgin, and I know a good hump would make him a lot more settled, easy to talk to, and would open up the opportunity for me to start bitching him out for all the shit he does that I dont like. You know, like a good friend does.

We don't go to bars / clubs. We don't go cruising the strips looking for hookers. My woman's friends are not the type to hook up randomly with a guy such as himself. He sucks at meeting chicks himself.

What would Brian Boitano do? If I dont fix him soon, I'm liable to summon Ifrit on his ass.

 

[meeze]

trip to TJ, can't beat it

 

[Lanien]

Get his ass so drunk he will forget the night, and just tell him he had sex lol I know it wouldn't be as nice as finally getting his ass laid, but short of buying him a hooker, it might be the next best thing.

Either that or a donkey show. That really loosens people up...

 

[Myrrh]

Try watching some hardcore porno with him. If that doesn't work /slap him and tell him to grow some damn balls and hit on chicks. Tell him to use the line "Hey baby, I'm a lvl 75 mnk, War, AND nin. Let's hump like rabbits"

It's the prefect pick up line trust me.

 

[meeze]

Hey girl, wanna go back to my place for sex and pizza?

What you don't like pizza?

 

[Strid]

Real roomies share women... get with the program.

 

[Flymop]

Dont think being a virgin is the thing thats causing your roomies problems. Im still a virgin but im one of the most chilled out people ever and have been told that by numerous people

 

[Eulore]

Dont think being a virgin is the thing thats causing your roomies problems. Im still a virgin but im one of the most chilled out people ever and have been told that by numerous people

Get laid and you'll be the most chillaxxin dood ever.

 

[CmdrFly]

Get his ass so drunk he will forget the night, and just tell him he had sex lol I know it wouldn't be as nice as finally getting his ass laid, but short of buying him a hooker, it might be the next best thing.

I dunno if that'd do it. He's daft, but not that much.

Dont think being a virgin is the thing thats causing your roomies problems. Im still a virgin but im one of the most chilled out people ever and have been told that by numerous people

Do you complain on a regular basis that you need a woman?

 

[Grem]

Get him a fleshlight.

 

[Uzor]

Bring home a hooker and tell him to play nice.
...
what?

 

[Sharpe]

Bring home a hooker and tell him to play nice.
...
what?

As long as it's a blonde swedish hooker :spiteful:

 

[Mattaru]

Cut it off.

 

[ziphor]

Get him a fleshlight.

lmao i remember those things!


go google it if you never heard of it.....

 

[Uzor]

lmao i remember those things!


go google it if you never heard of it.....

yeah, I think I know what it is... lol

 

[CmdrFly]

yeah, I think I know what it is... lol

fleshlight.com's first customer (Found it!)

 

[Elpon]

Ok, now try it with the swiss cheese.

 

[Euphacent]

Flymop, your avatar looks just like mine.

 

[Kizaryo]

Kinky Kelly

Either that or a donkey show. That really loosens people up...

:shock:

LMAO! Clerks 2!! :-D
Kinky Kelly.. FTW!!

 

[Reishu]

put the thoughts there, and he'll act on them. A fleshlight works, so does some umm discrete inside jokes that he'll have to ask questions to understand. Basically expose him, and eventually he'll have his fun.