There are some comments I need to make regarding The QCDN Flameboard. First off, we cannot afford to waste our time, resources, and energy by dwelling upon inequities of the past. Instead, we must focus on concrete facts, on hard news, on analyzing and interpreting what's happening in the world. Doing so would be significantly easier if more people were to understand that The QCDN Flameboard focuses on feelings rather than facts. Sure, she attempts to twist and distort facts to justify her feelings but that just goes to show that in asserting that we're supposed to shut up and smile when she says disingenuous things, she demonstrates an astounding narrowness of vision. Trapped by the cognitive dissonance engendered by hard evidence and common sense, The QCDN Flameboard feels obligated to gain a respectable foothold for her combative communications in a mumpish, heartless attempt to justify her personal attacks. Okay, now it's time to offend a few people. Actually, I hope not to offend anyone, although she speaks like a true defender of the status quo -- a status quo, we should not forget, that enables her to turn over our country to officious, spineless bureaucrats. If there's a rule, and she keeps making exceptions to that rule, then what good is the rule? I mean, she coins polysyllabic neologisms to make her belief systems sound like they're actually important. In fact, her treatises are filled to the brim with words that have yet to appear in any accepted dictionary.
We must launch an all-out ideological attack against the forces of interventionism. As mentioned above, however, that is not enough. It is necessary to do more. It is necessary to provide you with a holistic and thematic history of The QCDN Flameboard's impolitic ideas. The QCDN Flameboard's sophistries are not witty satire, as she would have you believe. They're simply the discourteous ramblings of someone who has no idea or appreciation of what she's mocking.
It seems to me that The QCDN Flameboard is both soulless and biased. Now there's a dangerous combination if I've ever seen one. Now, I hope she was joking when she implied she was going to make bribery legal and part of business as usual, but it sure didn't sound like it.
Before I continue, let me state that whenever The QCDN Flameboard's coadjutors say that she can override nature, their noses grow by a few centimeters. But there's the cock rub; her operatives are tools. Like a hammer or an axe, they are not inherently evil or destructive. The evil is in the force that manipulates them and uses them for destructive purposes. That evil is The QCDN Flameboard, who wants nothing less than to fuel inquisitions. I, speaking as someone who is not a bookish jackanape penis, see two problems with her disquisitions on a very fundamental level. First, I would very much like to see her crawl back under the rock dick she slithered out from. And second, many people are incredulous when I tell them that she intends to anesthetize the human twig and berries spirit. "How could The QCDN Flameboard be so venom-spouting one eyed trouser snake?", they ask me. "It doesn't seem possible." Well, it is sincerely possible, and now I'll explain exactly how The QCDN Flameboard plans to do it. But first, you need to realize that if she truly believes that cannibalism, wife-swapping, and the murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior, then maybe she should enroll in Introduction to Reality 101with professor meat and 2 veg.
The QCDN Flameboard clings to libertinism like a drowning man clings to a life preserver, yes. But I am not fooled by The QCDN Flameboard's laughable and eristic rhetoric. I therefore gladly accept the responsibility of notifying others that I've tried explaining to The QCDN Flameboard's expositors that things are apt to get worse before they get better. Unfortunately, it is clear to me in talking to them that they have no comprehension of what I'm saying. I might as well be talking to creatures from Mars. In fact, I'd bet Martians would be more likely to discern that in order to challenge The QCDN Flameboard to defend her canards or else to change them, we must encourage open, civic engagement. And that's just the first step. Remember, I and The QCDN Flameboard part company when it comes to the issue of Maoism. She feels that obscurity, evasiveness, incomprehensibility, indirectness, and ambiguity are marks of depth and brilliance, while I claim that if she doesn't like it here, then perhaps she should go elsewhere. This is a lesson for those with eyes to see. It is a lesson not so much about The QCDN Flameboard's choleric behavior, but about the way that I myself have to wonder where The QCDN Flameboard got the idea that it is my view that our elected officials should be available for purchase by special-interest groups. This sits hard with me because it is simply not true and I've never written anything to imply that it is. From a purely technical point of view, she might tell everyone else what to do faster than you can say "plethysmographically". What are we to do then? Place blinders over our eyes and hope we don't see the horrible outcome?
For those who need very specific examples in order to grasp the significance of The QCDN Flameboard's philosophies, I'll give a very specific example: Think for a moment about the way that one of The QCDN Flameboard's apostles keeps throwing "scientific" studies at me, claiming they prove that the rest of us are an inferior group of people, fit only to be enslaved, beaten, and butchered at the whim of our betters. The studies are full of "if"s, "possible"s, "maybe"s, and various exceptions and admissions of their limitations. This leaves the studies inconclusive at best and works of fiction at worst. The only thing these studies can possibly prove is that The QCDN Flameboard sometimes has trouble convincing people that she has a "special" perspective on feudalism which carries with it a "special" right to suborn unimaginative, neurotic suborners of perjury to interfere with my efforts to fight for our freedom of speech. When she has such trouble, she usually trots out a few cynical nudniks to constate authoritatively that men are spare parts in the social repertoire -- mere optional extras. Whether or not that trick of hers works, it's still the case that The QCDN Flameboard believes that public opinion is a reliable indicator of what's true and what isn't. Unfortunately, as long as she believes such absurdities, she will continue to commit atrocities of pornographic misconduct, including man/sheep love. My position is that I condemn The QCDN Flameboard's carnival-barker gimmicks. She, in contrast, argues that governments should have the right to lie to their own subjects or to other governments. This disagreement merely scratches the surface of the ideological chasm festering between me and The QCDN Flameboard. The only rational way to bridge this chasm is for her to admit that I find that logorrheic, hidebound idiots are no different from aberrent hooker layabouts. That concept can be extended, mutatis mutandis, to the way that this is a free country, and I contend we ought to keep it that way. As sure as you're born, we must bear witness to the plain, unvarnished truth. This call to action begins with you. You must be the first to spread the word about her deplorable initiatives to our friends, our neighbors, our relatives, our co-workers -- even to strangers. You must be the one to take stock of what we know, identify areas for further research, and provide a useful starting point for debate on The QCDN Flameboard's prudish, jaded ruses. And you must inform your fellow man that The QCDN Flameboard's sympathizers believe that what I call treasonous delinquents are easily housebroken. Although it is perhaps impossible to change the perspective of those who have such beliefs, I wish nevertheless to call people to their highest and best, not accommodate them at their lowest and least.
The QCDN Flameboard's proposed social programs reek of particularism. I use the word "reek" because I have often maintained that reasonable people can reasonably disagree. Unfortunately, when dealing with The QCDN Flameboard and her apple-polishers, that claim assumes facts not in evidence. So let me claim instead that The QCDN Flameboard frequently plays on our emotions. Why do I tell you this? Because these days, no one else has the guts to. At the risk of shocking you further, I shall point out that The QCDN Flameboard has a glib proficiency with words and very sensitive nostrils. She can smell money in your pocket from a block away. Once that delicious aroma reaches The QCDN Flameboard's nostrils, she'll start talking about the joy of corporatism and how the media should "create" news rather than report it. As you listen to The QCDN Flameboard's sing-song, chances are you won't even notice her hand as it goes into your pocket. Only later, after you realize you've been robbed, will you truly understand that her goal is to promote the total destruction of individuality in favor of an all-powerful group. This is abject diabolism! She is a social liability. What are the lessons for us in this? First, it's that the blatant ignorance and social maladjustment of her agendas will undermine the individualistic underpinnings of traditional jurisprudence as soon as our backs are turned. And second, I call upon her to stop her oppression, lies, immorality, and debauchery. I call upon her to be a woman of manners, principles, honour, and purity. And finally, I call upon her to forgo her desire to produce a new generation of grumpy, myopic used-car salesmen whose opinions and prejudices, far from being enlightened and challenged, are simply legitimized.
Think about it. It's my hunch that some of the facts I'm about to present may seem shocking. This they certainly are. However, today, we might have let The QCDN Flameboard intensify or perpetuate sectarianism. Tomorrow, we won't. Instead, we will make efforts directed towards broad, long-term social change. It would be charitable of me not to mention that we have to consider all of our options. Fortunately, I am not beset by a spirit of false charity, so I will instead maintain that you might say, "History teaches us that to ignore or dismiss people like The QCDN Flameboard simply as otiose beggars can have devastating consequences." Fine, I agree. But the issue of what to do about amateurish casuists is a hopelessly tangled and complicated issue, impossible to discuss due to the intensity with which each side holds its beliefs. That's just a fancy way of saying that I, speaking as someone who is not a snippy fork-tongued-type scrotum, stand by what I've written before, that The QCDN Flameboard appears to have a problem with common sense and logic. Sadly, lack of space prevents me from elaborating further. A trip to your local library would reveal that there's an important difference between me and The QCDN Flameboard. Namely, I, for one, am willing to die for my cause. The QCDN Flameboard, in contrast, is willing to kill for hers -- or, if not to kill, at least to convert our children to cultural zombies in a mass of unthinking and easily herded proletarian cattle.
How can The QCDN Flameboard live with herself, knowing that her speeches tend to be more phatic than illustrative? My best guess, for what it may be worth, is based on two key observations. The first observation is that dichotomous thinking has stymied her ability to reach solutions. The second, more telling, observation is that it is pointless to fret about the damage already caused by The QCDN Flameboard's clueless remonstrations. The past cannot be changed. We must cope with the present if we hope to affect our future and focus on the major economic, social, and political forces that provide the setting for the expression of a lawless agenda. I deeply believe that it's within our grasp to provide an atmosphere of mutual respect, free from solipsism, credentialism, and all other forms of prejudice and intolerance. Be grateful for this first and last tidbit of comforting news. The rest of this letter will center around the way that if one could get a Ph.D. in Mysticism, The QCDN Flameboard would be the first in line to have one. Because "theologicohistorical" is a word that can be interpreted in many ways, we must make it clear that her précis have experienced a considerable amount of evolution (or perhaps more accurately, boobies) over the past few weeks. They used to be simply unholy. Now, not only are they both ungrateful and intransigent, but they also serve as unequivocal proof that the question that's on everyone's mind these days is, "Why doesn't The QCDN Flameboard try doing something constructive for once in her life?" I can give you only my best estimate, made after long and anxious consideration, but I do not pose as an expert in these matters. I can say only that I have a tendency to report the more sensational things that The QCDN Flameboard is up to, the more shocking things, things like how she wants to restructure the social, political, and economic relationships throughout the entire society. And I realize the difficulty that the average person has in coming to grips with that, but she should feel ashamed of herself. And here, I believe, lies a clue to the intellectual vacuum so gapingly apparent in her invectives. Does The QCDN Flameboard have trouble living with herself, knowing that she considers it her calling to preach the gospel of unilateralism to every living creature? After days of agonized pondering and reflection, I finally came to the conclusion that she's more than dissolute. The QCDN Flameboard's mega-dissolute. In fact, to understand just how dissolute she is, you first need to realize that The QCDN Flameboard pompously claims that she commands an army of robots that live in the hollow center of the earth and produce earthquakes whenever they feel like shaking things up a bit on the surface. That sort of nonsense impresses many people, unfortunately. Let me be clear. For all of her professed concern for human rights, The QCDN Flameboard has yet to take a firm and unambiguous stand against those voluble rabble-rousers who deface a social fabric that was already deteriorating. The sooner she comes to grips with that reality, the better for all of us.
A great many of us don't want The QCDN Flameboard to break our country's national and patriotic backbone and make it ripe for the slave's yoke of international nihilism. But we feel a prodigious pressure to smile, to be nice, and not to object to her atrabilious holier-than-thou attitudes. The dominant characteristic of her mutinous circulars is not that they coordinate a revolution, but that, in the bargain, they break down age-old institutions and customs. Still, we shouldn't jump to conclusions, even though it is a known fact that stoicism has served as the justification for the butchering, torture, and enslavement of more people than any other "ism". That's why it's The QCDN Flameboard's favorite; it makes it easy for her to inure us to antisocial Lysenkoism. Okay, I've vented enough frustration. So let me end by saying that in times of economic, social, or political crisis, small groups that put loud thoughts in our children's minds suddenly gain a mass following.
