Invite ettiquette?

Zyndara

Zyndara

Sane drop in crazy lake
Adventurer
Joined
Nov 7, 2005
Messages
1,726
Location
Syracuse, NY
Main Job
Bard-Female
Secondary Job
WhiteMage-Female
Third Job
Paladin-Female
FFXIV
Zyn
I had something happen to me this afternoon and I am just wondering what the consensus is on party inviting courtesy. Specifically, the question I have is, if you are a nontraditional-cannon job (if you are not nin, war or mnk), is it not reasonable to assume when someone invites you to party that the party will have a tank and a healer?

The situation I came across is I was invited, I accepted the invite, warped, ported out to party only to realize that there was no tank. The party range was 69-70 if I recall correctly, and setup was drk drk sam/war sam/war rdm brd. In my experience, that type of party doesn't work well at this level without a whm or everyone /nin (especially in a place like the mire w/ amnesia and deafening tantra). I mentioned that I would likely have not accepted the invite had I known it would be a "tp party," and I sent a tell to the leader asking for him to replace me or offering to find a replacement for myself. I also said I would stay until a replacement came. When I was told I could go, I said take care and disbanded, and sent a follow up tell to the leader to thank him anyway for the invite, saying that type of party just wasn't my cup of tea at this level. The leader essentially was kind of angry about it, and told me it was my responsibility to ask the party setup when invited and that he'd "know not to invite me again."

I guess I need to be more diligent about checking jobs in the party before I accept, and that's probably my bad for assuming instead of making sure, but I guess I'm just looking for some input from others on what is considered the normal accepted behavior for invites so I don't piss anyone off in the future or waste my or anyone else's time. It just seemed like a communication problem to me. If you're inviting someone other than a nin, war, or mnk and intend for it to be a "tp party," isn't that something you should mention to the people you invite up front, especially if they are /war and not /nin? Or do people prefer it for the person being invited to inquire ahead of time about the setup every time? I just genuinely want to know so I can avoid this problem in the future.
 
Its really a gray area. Some people get bitchy when you ask them whats the party setup. Some new armor on Sat will cheer you up Zyn!
 
I wouldn't say that you did anything wrong exactly. If I had been in your situation I probably would have asked them if the setup had been working for them, and if they answered in the affirmative maybe used a reraise hairpin and given it a go for a few mobs to see how it went. It would be a tough situation to be in though. :(
 
Yeah that's why I generally don't ask up front, because I thought it irritated people. And man, that would make my day. lol :biggrin: It would be nice for that stingy 80 to give us something for all our hard work.
 
I don't really think you should have to ask. Any competent person should be able to put a party together, and if not, thats probably not somebody you want to be partying with in the first place. I know, especially at that level range, that finding the ideal party setup is a pipe dream, but I wouldn't waste my time with a party with no tank no matter what job I was on.

In your situation, I probably would have asked if they had success with that setup before, maybe tried it out for a few fights, and then more than likely bailed.
 
Usually if I get an invite from someone I don't know I tend to check their job. In addition to that, I ask the party setup just to see what is up. I never thought people would get irritated if you asked what the setup was. Perhaps I am being a selfish asshole, but it's my time and I generally don't have much time to spend playing Grab-Ass with a party that isn't working so well.
 
I have been in some interesting parties, while not traditional, that worked well. I give it a few fights then replace myself if its not what I was looking for. I think as long as you dont ditch out on the party w/o a rep you did the right thing and if I was party leader I would def invite you again because you arent some prick that cuts and runs.
 
Sapper said:
I have been in some interesting parties, while not traditional, that worked well. I give it a few fights then replace myself if its not what I was looking for.
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No offence but I can't stand people who do this. If the party is no good why on earth are you inviting some other poor old sod to it?

The amount of people who invite me with just "Party" no ? no nothing. It's annoying. Sure I don't need to know the exact setup, food, equip etc. Whatever happened to people just making a decent pt?
 
First thing I ask when I get a party invite is "What is the setup?" When I build a party the first thing I say is "Experience Points Do you need it? JOB JOB JOB JOB", so people know what they are getting into. I think its both the leader and your fault. You live and you learn.

I agree with Sharpe on the replacing yourself. I first of all never replace myself because I dont want responsibility if the party only lasts 30 more minutes, or if its a piss poor party, I dont want people to fall into the same trap I did.
 
I always say what jobs and level range I have when inviting people. That way they know how formed the party is, and the makeup, so if they don't like it they can just decline and I won't have to waste my time.

(Hello!) exp (Party) (do you need it?) WAR THF NIN WHM BLM 41-43 so far

Or I'll say (excuse me...) instead of hello if the person doesn't have their flag up.

The leader of that party was just dumb. You can't invite somebody to a party of 5 WHMs and when they say "wtf" just respond with "you should have asked about the party makeup." That's BS. If you invite somebody to an exp party and don't tell them what jobs and levels are in there, I say you should intend on getting a tank and healer, and keeping everyone within 2 levels of each other at the start. I personally wouldn't take invites on THF if I was 70 and the highest was 74, but I would take that invite as a 70 BRD or RDM or something.

I do get annoyed when people ask me the makeup of my party when I invite them. It seems elitist, like "I won't join unless you have 2 BRDs", but hearing stories like this one makes me understand. With people trying to pull weird style parties without telling anybody, it's no wonder some people want to know about makeup when I invite them.
 
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you did nothing wrong just need to ask next time what the party setup is, but i'm sure you know that now. GL to you
 
I'm typically willing to give unconventional setups a try. Even if I've had a bad party with a similar setup before, on different mobs and with different people the outcome can be entirely different as well. I'll try a few chains, maybe 20-30 minutes or so, and if it's not working, I'll say "Sorry guys, but this isn't working. This party needs (insert job here), and if we can't get one we might as well disband. If we can, we can ask for a volunteer to leave or just /random it."

Typically, of course, if the setup is bad the leader won't want to admit it, and I'll just leave on general principle.
 
they were probably stupid [the members] anyway. if they had subbed nin it would have potentially been a 15k/hr group >.>

edit: oh yeah, who the hell set the rules and said you have to be a war nin or mnk to join a tp burn?

With the 2-hander buff recently DRK SAM and even DRG tear shit up rather well.
 
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Some of the best pts in this level range I've had was with set ups like this. All melees besides sam use /nin and sams use /war or /nin whichever. The parties work great. Just because you've had bad experiences with it doesn't mean the set up sucks. You just had bad players.

As such, I don't think its the leaders responsibility to let you know "what kind" of party you're joining. If you're worried about taking a hit or two, then you ask them.


And as Tymon said, who the hell said you have to be a war, mnk, or nin to make a tp burn pt? Sams can do it, Drks can do it, anything with shadows or sam main can do it just fine. Just before the party mentioned in the OP I had a really fast style pt with the set up: Drk/nin, drk/nin, mnk/nin, war/nin, brd/nin, and brd/whm. Guess what, no tank, no healer, we were doing 17k/hr in the mire. Of course soon after that 5 parties decided to show up and kill chains...but yeh D:

As for the party in question, it ended up working fine for a bit, but eventually died out when the rdm got elemental aggro and the leader freaked out on him. Back and forth shouting and disband :<
 
Tyrath said:
As for the party in question, it ended up working fine for a bit, but eventually died out when the rdm got elemental aggro and the leader freaked out on him. Back and forth shouting and disband :<
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Sorry to hear it ended badly. :-/
 
Zyndara said:
Sorry to hear it ended badly. :-/
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Heh its ok. I been xping all day and needed time away from the game before evening sky activities xD
 
Euphacent said:
I've been in several groups where two good sam/wars could tank just fine.
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I've seen them and been a part of them at 75. But the ones I've seen at this level with no whm and no formal tank, have, quite a few times unfortunately, gone very badly. I'm sure for some people it's worked great, I just haven't had positive personal experiences with it. It's not to say it can't be done. But let's just say I'm not comfortable being that sam/war for a bunch of strangers. If I'm going to be that sam, it's going to be with people I know are good at what they do. That's not meant to be a slam on the party I was in, it's simply that out of all of them, I'd only partied with one before.
 
my vote is....

... that grouchy people suck. who cares if you got invited into a tp burn party? gawd what are you afraid of.... having an interesting non-traditional party setup that might work or might not? wtf, why the hell are people are so afraid of dying... it's a game for cryin out loud... you can die and not really "die" so who cares?

i think, if you have a problem with people inviting you into such parties, suck it up and ask them, or.... grow a backbone and have some fun. i ALWAYS laugh when i die, no matter where, or why, or whatever. it's just a game... it's just a game.... it's just a game.... it's just a game.... we're supposed to play "games" to escape our shitty as reality and this sucky world, so why make the "game" sucky and shitty eh?
 
When i have an unconvential set up i inform the person being invited. Not everyone is intrested in new things. If the party has been doing well I will also put in the exp per hour made. Thats just me though. They should have told you the set up before hand mostly so you could come prepared. We all sub different jobs based on party needs. Don't fret over this.
 
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