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- Jun 3, 2004
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Joke #1:
An elementary school teacher who is giving a lesson on subtraction.
She says, "If there are 7 black birds on this fence, and the farmer
shoots one of them, how many are left?"
One boy raises his hand and says, "None."
"How so." says the teacher."
Boy: "Because if the farmer shoots one, one will be dead and the rest
will fly away."
Teacher: "Very good. That isn't exactly what I had in mind, but I like
the way you think.
Boy: "Can I ask you a question now?"
Teacher: "Ok"
Boy: "There are three ladies sitting on a park bench eating an ice
cream cone. One is licking it, one is biting it, and the last is
sticking it in her mouth and sucking on it. How can you tell which is
married?"
The teacher, a bit flustered, pauses a moment, and says, "Well I guess
the one who is sucking on it."
"No," says the boy, "its the one wearing the wedding ring, but I like
the way you think!"
Joke #2
A father was passing by his sons bedroom was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope
propped up promiently on the center of the bed. It was addressed
'Dad'.
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read with
trembling hands:
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing this. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with
mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Barbara and she is
so nice even with all her piercings, tatoos and her tight motorcylce
clothes. But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and
Barbara said that we will be very happy. Even though you don't care
for her as she is much older that I, she already owns a trailer in the
woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to
ahve many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.
Barbara taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll
be growing it for ourselves and trading it with her friends for all
the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that
science will find a cure for aids so Barbara can get better; she sure
deserves it! Don't worry dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to
take care of myself. Someday I am sure we'll be back to visit so you
can get to know your grandchildren.
Your son,
John
P.S. Dad, none of this is true. I'm over at the neighbors house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worst things in life than my
report card that's in my desk drawer. I love you. Call when its safe
to come home.
An elementary school teacher who is giving a lesson on subtraction.
She says, "If there are 7 black birds on this fence, and the farmer
shoots one of them, how many are left?"
One boy raises his hand and says, "None."
"How so." says the teacher."
Boy: "Because if the farmer shoots one, one will be dead and the rest
will fly away."
Teacher: "Very good. That isn't exactly what I had in mind, but I like
the way you think.
Boy: "Can I ask you a question now?"
Teacher: "Ok"
Boy: "There are three ladies sitting on a park bench eating an ice
cream cone. One is licking it, one is biting it, and the last is
sticking it in her mouth and sucking on it. How can you tell which is
married?"
The teacher, a bit flustered, pauses a moment, and says, "Well I guess
the one who is sucking on it."
"No," says the boy, "its the one wearing the wedding ring, but I like
the way you think!"
Joke #2
A father was passing by his sons bedroom was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope
propped up promiently on the center of the bed. It was addressed
'Dad'.
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read with
trembling hands:
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing this. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with
mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Barbara and she is
so nice even with all her piercings, tatoos and her tight motorcylce
clothes. But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and
Barbara said that we will be very happy. Even though you don't care
for her as she is much older that I, she already owns a trailer in the
woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to
ahve many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.
Barbara taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll
be growing it for ourselves and trading it with her friends for all
the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that
science will find a cure for aids so Barbara can get better; she sure
deserves it! Don't worry dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to
take care of myself. Someday I am sure we'll be back to visit so you
can get to know your grandchildren.
Your son,
John
P.S. Dad, none of this is true. I'm over at the neighbors house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worst things in life than my
report card that's in my desk drawer. I love you. Call when its safe
to come home.
