joke thread

dehorse

dehorse

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hey guys i have an idea. Lets start a joke thread


Heres my joke to start it off

A black man and a parrot walk into a bar. The bartender says "Hey nice pet, were did you get him"






The parrot says "I got him in Africa"




(Im not racist the joke was all in good fun, and besides a black kid said it so its ok lol)




ok guys lets hear some good jokes
 
Blazn walks into a forum,

Everyone notices.
 
How are women and hurricanes alike?





When they arrive, they're all wet and wild, but when they leave, they take your car and your house.
 
A man and wife were celebrating their 50-year anniversary, so the man bought his wife a $250 see-through nightgown.

Later that night she was getting ready for bed and realized the nightgown was still in the box downstairs. Walking naked through the house, she passed her husband who said, "My word, for $250 they could've at least ironed it!"
 
heres an other one

a man is sitting at a the bar and starts talking to this gorgeous blond. They start to chat for a while about random things when suddenly a news flash on the television came on about a man who is about to jump off a building and commit suicide. The man at the bar saw this earlier in the day and new that he ends up jumping but decides to play a joke on the blond. He bet the blond 20 dollars that the man was going to jump. The blond said ok. After a while the man on the television ends up jumping and the blond starts to take out her money. The man at the bar feels guilty and tells her, "im sorry but i saw this earlier and i new he was going to jump"






The blond says "I saw it too but i didn't think he was going to jump again"




(My thirteen year old cousin told me and my dad that and we both lolled)
 
Ok, so this dyslexic guy walks into a bra.
 
Three ducks walk into a bar, and the bartender asks what the first ducks name was, and he says Huey. The bartender sayd so how are things going, and Huey says good, played in puddles all day, about to have a drink what more could a duck want.

Bartender asks the name of the second duck, and he says Louie, and the bartender asks how he's doing. He says fine, played in puddles and day, about to have a drink, what more could a duck want.

The bartender turns to the last duck and says, I guess your name is Duey, but the duck just batted her eyes and said no silly, my name is puddles.
 
Three men walk into a bar, one of them says "What's this!? Some kind of joke!?"
 
This thread.

Wait....funny and pathetic are different....
 
What's red, blue, green and mows my lawn?



It's MY child, I paint him how I likes.
 
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