New and Improved Parody Thread (Now Softer!)

Fellina

Fellina

Iron Mistress
Adventurer
Joined
Apr 6, 2004
Messages
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ArcaneGarden
I enjoyed the Rap parody thread (until it got crapped on) though I'm not a big fan of rap music. I would have liked to contribute, but I didn't feel it was right to do a non-rap parody, so I made this thread, which is for parodies of all genres.

All are welcome to post their own parodies, though I'd ask that you try to keep anything that might be construed as flaming out of it so we don't have a repeat of the last thread.

“MELEE” a parody of Goldfinger’s “Happy”

I remember seventeen
in Valkurm Dunes, the place to be
I had Enspells and all was well
‘til Citadel, I got Dispel

My sword it really goes to shit
Enspell procs 2’s on every hit
My party tells me I should rest
Starting to think maybe that’s best

I just want to stab some eyes
XP crawling by
(Chain 2 Chain 2 Chain 2)
(I can’t get past Chain 2)

At 41 I just give up
I just Refresh, it really sucks
My sword it starts to gather dust
Melee skills develop rust

I was a Melee Mage back when
But now I can’t even pretend
I hate my wand it’s been so long . . .

I just want to stab some eyes
XP flying by
(Refresh Refresh Refresh)
(Yes you’ll get your Refresh)
(Refresh Refresh Refresh)
(Shut up about Refresh)

I remember seventeen
in Valkurm Dunes, the place to be
I had Enspells and all was well
But now I’m in the Endgame hell

I buff, I cure, maybe Convert
Roaming Merits, my eyes hurt
Once favorite job is now the least
I think I’ll go and level BST
I’ll go and level BST . . .

I just wish I could melee
I just wish I could melee
I just wish I could melee here sometime
 
"Aht Urhgan City", to David Bowie's "Suffragette City"

(hey man) Oh party with me you know
(hey man) I gotta get some Cure 3’s, I gotta
(hey man) I gotta straighten my face
This snake-bodied chick just put my spine out of place

(hey man) My lag is insane
(hey man) Getting AoE drain
(hey man) Undead’s a total blam-blam
She used her Belly Dance but she..and then she..

I got charm on me man, Taru Mage I’m gonna kill it
Besieged in Aht Urhgan city
Oh dont look at my bazaar
Cause you ain’t got time to check it
Besieged in Aht Urhgan city
Is outta sight... XP’s all right

(hey man) Ah man, there’s 10 acrolith, run away
(hey man) Can’t fight them all at once, no way
(hey man) Oh crap I can’t die here
Nemean Lion’s up and here it comes, here it comes

Oh put haste on me man, cause my scythe I wanna skill it
Besieged in Aht Urhgan city
Oh I lost my TP
Rising Swell a bunch of bullshit
Besieged in Aht Urhgan city
Is outta sight... XP’s all right

Oh hit me!

Oh I need more HP, Giants Drink I’m gonna swig it
Besieged in Aht Urhgan city
Oh no generals left
Candescence, gotta save it
Besieged in Aht Urhgan city
Medusa’s immune, Lamia you gotta kill it
Besieged in Aht Urhgan city
Oh how long has it been
the /clock I gotta check it
Besieged in Aht Urhgan city
Is outta sight... XP’s all right

Aht Urhgan city, Aht Urhgan city
Besieged in Aht Urhgan city, Besiged in Aht Urhgan city
Ooo, Aht Urhgan city, ooo, Aht Urhgan city,

Ohhh, wham bam thank you maam!
 
That is awesome. I love Suffragette City.
 
Sorry, All I know is tradition.


"Arcane Boys (And The Winner Is...)"
Parody of Jay-Z's "Roc Boys (And the Winner Is...)



And the winner is Aud...my man? SPEECH!


First of all I want thank my connect
Darthyoda for the invite with all due respect
Thanks to all the players ignoring all the gimp fads
The full-time dragoons for /jumping all the adds
Boys in blue who put the pearl before the greed
Taking time out for all those in need
The Arcane Boys in the building tonight
Oh what a feeling I'm feeling life
Thanks to the lames, hackers that can't claim
Thanks to a little change I put you out of the game
Adaman will stop your buffoonery
Thanks to Willian for synthing all the jewelry
To Malika and them, you know the women friend
Who, carry supplies across time for a gentlemen
Yeah, thanks to AH hustlers
And most importantly you, the customer


[Chorus: Jam-Z (Audi West)]
Arcane Boys in the building tonight
Oh what a feeling, I'm feeling light
You don't even gotta pull ya savings out
We the hot boys of the year, yag drinks on the house
(We in the house, hou-, hou-)
Arcane Boys in the building tonight
Look at how I'm chilling, I'm killing this fight
You ain't even gotta bring ya savings out
We the hot boys of the year, yag drinks on the house
(We in the house, hou-, hou-)
(We in the house, hou-, hou-, HEY)


Let ya hair down Fellina, re-roll a bad draw
Pick any camp on Vana'diel, pick a shore
Take what the parse figures, then figure more
Cause they forgot to account what we did with DDx4
Pick a time, you nitpicking like it's a chore
Pick a weekend for buying out the guild store
I figure frauds never hit a mob before
So they don't know the feeling when them things get across
Put ya hand on the Ridill, feel the force
Feel the pressure, hit the frost
Ice cold, Aquilo's got no flaws
Can't top the NM drop, you on the bottom floor
Pink Rosay, think Falsay
I get away with bannings when I MPK
Rappa got more moves than "DNC ONLY"
That means he did a Quickstep - didn't he?


[Chorus (with overlapping 3rd verse towards end)]


Rare/ex losses, blank portraits
Red dots if you dare come near the fortress
This vine is from the Rolanberry Orchid
This kinda talk is only reserved for the bosses
Which means I get it from the ground
Which means you shut down when I'm around
Rich crafters, Shijin god killers
Gae Assail, it's a celebration snitches, la heim
I wish for you three decades of peace but it's my time
Cheers, toast the dime
Number one A-boy, chain linking time

[Chorus x3]

Sweet, let that fall out!
Bring the horns back in, yeah
This is world savior music right here baby
San D'Orian Gangsta
Taking flight, coming to a nation near you
Soon as I touch down I just want ya'll to start playing the horns like...
Audi's home...Encore baby
Hahahahaha...ow!
 
I've been on fire lately, I hope it continues.

"Adaman Hauberk" set to CAKE's "Pretty Pink Ribbon"

Without the Adaman Hauberk
You wouldn’t be so leet
Without the Adaman Hauberk
It’d be a two-way street

Without the Adaman Hauberk
You'd never break 2k
Without the completed merits
You’d simply be whiffing away

Without your slick little Ridill
You’d never be able to own
Without the linkshell you were in
Your exploits would all go unknown

Your advice would be thrown away
Your insights would never see day
Without the Adaman Hauberk
You'd end up just like me

Without the Adaman Hauberk
You wouldn’t be so leet
Without the Adaman Hauberk
You'd never be packing the heat

Without the Adaman Hauberk
You still would be seeking I bet
You would kill for a cannon
You’d take any invite you get

Without your slick little Ridill
Your WAR would be just like the rest
Without the linkshell you were in
Your gear would be meager at best

Your advice would be thrown away
Your insights would never see day
Without the Adaman Hauberk
You'd end up just like me
 
neisan is on a roll again nice XD just read his first reading the rest

edit: fellina I sure as hell feel your pain on the first one thats why i'm leaning to be a red mage soloist in the future >_>;
 
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Artist: Sean Kingston / Gunk
Song: Beautiful Botter

You're way too beautiful hume
That's why it'll never work
You'll have me Mijin Gakure, Mijin Gakure
When you say camp is covered
Damn all these beautiful humes
They only wanna do your hunts
You'll have me Mijin Gakure, Mijin Gakure
When they say (Notorious Monster) (Mine) ^^;

See it started in Ru'Lude park
Used to chill at M&R Mart
Oh when you took my HP
That's when the party fell apart
Coz we both thought
That alliances last forever (last forever)
They say subjobs are too low
To get ourselves gold
Oh you didn't care
You made it very clear
And they also said
That you couldn't last against mobs (against mobs)

See it's very define, girl
Twelve of a kind
But you Absorb-MND, why?
Your stats in serious decline
Oh Altana...
My hume lady is driving me crazy

You're way too beautiful hume
That's why it'll never work
You'll have me Mijin Gakure, Mijin Gakure
When you say camp is covered
Damn all these beautiful humes
They only wanna do your hunts
You'll have me Mijin Gakure, Mijin Gakure
When they say (Notorious Monster) (Mine) ^^;

It was back in 1009
Watchin' dancing taru all the time
Oh when I went away
For doin' my first crime (MPK!)
And I never thought
That we was gonna camp together (camp together)
And then I warped out
Atmaweapons moved South
Oh I'm with my hume
Who I thought was my moon
It came out to be
That she was really RMT (Really RMT) (;_; )

See it's very define, girl
Twelve of a kind
But you Absorb-MND, why?
Your stats in serious decline
Oh Altana...
My botter is driving me crazy

You're way too beautiful hume
That's why it'll never work
You'll have me Mijin Gakure, Mijin Gakure
When you say camp is covered
Damn all these beautiful humes
They only wanna do your hunts
You'll have me Mijin Gakure, Mijin Gakure
When they say (Notorious Monster) (Mine) ^^;

Now we're Flee'n
And now we're CCin'
Please tell me why
I'm feelin' like screamin'
And I don't know
How to make gil better (make gil better)
You're campin' every night
You're fightin' all the time
Oh I can't believe
What I'm seein' with my eyes
Your wearin Ryl. Footman's Gloves
And you just hit Seventy Three (Seventy Three)

You're way too beautiful bot
That's why it'll never work
You'll have me Mijin Gakure, Mijin Gakure, Mijin Gakure

Lol worked on this during work. I'll edit some words but I should be working.. >.>
 
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Where did you go, Fellina? :(
 
I got into a funk over the holidays, but I've got a few ideas kicking around. here's one to get things back on track, a little Nine Inch Nails. :)

my boss gave me a bed and 6 toons to play
my boss never lets me go afk
my boss makes me XP ‘til I can’t feel my arm
my boss loves the assholes too lazy to farm

I have gibberish names and I bot on every fight
I’m hated by everyone and I don’t care if everyone is right
I'll be there for you as long as there’s rice for me
I play a game
it's called Final Fantasy

gilfuckers
gilfuckers
gilfuckers, inc.
gilfuckers

I sell every fucking thing even rare/ex
I only wear equipment the players reject
Special Task Force Unit can’t do shit to me
you know that they can’t stop us as long as we pay our fee


gilfuckers
gilfuckers
gilfuckers, inc.
gilfuckers

all your fame
you know we wouldn’t exist without you
you're so lame
I bet you think this song is about you
don't you?
don't you?
don't you?
don't you?

now I belong I'm one of the meriting ones
now I belong I'm one of the powerful ones
 
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LOOK WHAT YOU STARTED AUD

"Sweet the pixels" based on Tori Amos' Sweet the Sting

Well she swayed into my camp
With her hotpants and her corsage
She said "I, I have heard
That you can play the way I like it to be played."
I said, "I can play, anyway that you want.”
But first I want, I want to know

Baby is it sweet sweet
Sweet the pixels
Are they real, your e-boobies
Can I feel them if I buy you some gear?
If so then somebody
Shake shake shake me sane
Cause I’m lonely and I’m horny, don’t even care that it’s not real tail

She said “Come look at me on webcam
And I’d really like some Wise gear
For my Red Mage
Those other men
Have nothing to do with me and you”

Baby is it sweet sweet
Sweet the pixels
Are they real, your e-boobies
Can I feel them if I buy you some gear?
If so then somebody
Shake shake shake me sane
Cause I’m lonely and I’m horny, don’t even care that it’s not real tail

Love got me blind
Pussy Whipped
Melt the confusion
Until there is
There is my masturbation

Baby is it sweet sweet
Sweet the pixels
Are they real, your e-boobies
Can I feel them if I buy you some gear?
If so then somebody
Shake shake shake me sane
Cause I’m lonely and I’m horny, don’t even care that it’s not real tail
 
I wish I could rate you up twice but I can't even rate you up once at the moment. :/
 
This one was actually extremely hard for me to do, as most of you will understand.

"cool 2 hate" based on a similarly titled Offspring track

i hate a lot of things
i hate a lot of ppl that r lame
i like the flameboard
though the shit i'm spouting always is the same
i dun type normal
im not in skool
i use script kiddie speak
it makes me look cool
dun use my shift key
or punctuate
its not my problem
if ur brain just cant translate

its cool 2 hate
its cool 2 hate
i got a red dot cuz u guys all suk
its cool 2 hate
its cool 2 hate
i got a red dot cuz u guys all suk
i got a red dot cuz u guys all suk
yeah i hate everythng
i even hate u 2
so fuk u

dun matter wut i say
most ppl wont read it neway
i cant be bothered 2 use spellcheck
u shuld all accomodate
if u cant read it
its not my prob
its just my typing style
to be a lazy slob
a wall of text is
in every post
the enter key is overrated dun u know?

its cool 2 hate
its cool 2 hate
i got a red dot cuz u guys all suk
its cool 2 hate
its cool 2 hate
i got a red dot cuz u guys all suk
i got a red dot cuz u guys all suk
yeah i hate everythng
i even hate u 2
so fuk u

ill cut u down n give u lip
grammer nazis are so unhip
i cut u down cuz im a fool
english language is so uncool
english language is so uncool
english language is so uncool

i hate the haters
n their rate downs
wut wuld u guys be hatin
if i wasnt around
i hate this forum
n all u guys
dont u have nuthin better
to do wit all ur lives?

its cool 2 hate
its cool 2 hate
i got a red dot cuz u guys all suk
its cool 2 hate
its cool 2 hate
i got a red dot cuz u guys all suk
i got a red dot cuz u guys all suk
yeah i hate everythng
i even hate u 2
so fuk u
 
Omg I havent heard that punk track by Offspring in soo long and a very funny way to combine it with the worldly goings-on here amongst us all Fellina. :)
 
Just one more for the day, based on Ben Folds' Landed: Disbanded

XP hit the bottom
I thought it was my fault
And in a way I guess it was
I just now realized that
Our tank was a total asshat

We went to the C. Nest
The camp was empty
Our setup seemed to be OK
But that was all before
Before the first pull

But I opened my eyes and I used my warp
And the clouds came tumbling down
And it’s bye bye, [Goodbye.] I tried.
Even friendly advice couldn’t make it right
Had to leave before I snapped
I’ll be seeking here all night
It was worth it
I Disbanded

The other players
Their gear was decent
It’s just this one guy ruined it all
Trying to see why
The setup didn’t work
Made me believe I was the crazy one
And in a way, I guess I was

Until I opened my eyes and I used my warp
And the clouds came tumbling down
And it’s bye bye, [Goodbye.] I tried.
Trying to open the noobish mind
Left our XP rate behind
So it’s bye bye, [Goodbye.] I tried.

If you got upset, I’d understand it
But that ninja had a dagger main-handed
So I said screw it
I Disbanded

And you will be so
Happy to know
I’ll seek again
It’s not over

I opened my eyes and I used my warp
And the clouds came tumbling down
Now it’s bye bye, [Goodbye.] I tried.
I’m sorry I left you in the dirt
But you know my ass was next
I’m not dying for that jerk
I don’t regret it
I Disbanded
 
Ah, that "Disbanded" parody brings back painful memories in a humorous way, since I was there. (It's based on an actual pt with the ninja tank actually needing to be told not to main hand a dagger...among other things.)
 
Nice, I liked the, "it's called Final Fantasy" line in Starfuckers Inc.
 
"Jacked" is based on the Violent Femmes' Fat

I hope you get jacked
I hope you get your shit jacked
Cause if you get all of your shit jacked
It would be Karma comin’ on back
I hope you get jacked

I don’t care, I don’t care
‘Bout no friends defense
I don’t care, I don’t care, no
‘Bout no friends defense
Just gimme, gimme
Schadenfreude

My sour grapes would taste so fine
A vintage I’ve been saving for some time
And I could always use a little bit more
To gloat about
Loads of dirty laundry from years ago
I’ll air it out

I hope you get jacked
I hope you get your shit jacked
Cause if you get all of your shit jacked
It would be Karma comin’ on back
I hope you get
Jacked
 
Here's a short one based on another Cake song, Sad Songs and Waltzes

I’m writing this song as I’m seeking
I’m shouting but nobody hears
I just grin and bear it
Though I would like to merit
But Dragoons and Dark Knights aren’t invited this year

I’ve always got my flag up while farming
I’ve totally pimped out my gear
My insane strength and haste
It all goes to waste
Cause Dragoons and Dark Knights aren’t invited this year

It’s true that I hit fast and hard
But they always want me on Bard

You know I’m not above it
So take your Warrior and shove it
Dragoons and Dark Knights aren’t invited this year
 
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