Praise and self-esteem

[Uzor]

So, I read a thread on BG that confirmed what I already thought; today's youth are almost addicted to praise -- which is one of the reasons I believe a lot of teenagers today are brats; being called princesses etc. all the time.

So my question is; what is your views on praise? Personally, I've always found it unnecessary and awkward. I hate it, I've never known how to really handle it for that reason. I usually just respond with a "um, thank you" out of the awkwardness of the situation. I do, however, enjoy being told if there's something I need to improve. Why? Because then I know what I do wrong and what I can improve in order to become better at it. If I do a good job, I already know I do a good job at it.

It's not an issue of low self-esteem -- I'm quite narcissistic -- it's just that I prefer that kind of input. So yeah, what's your view on praise? Do you revel in it like the study suggests?

And in case you wonder; the study suggest college students prefer praise over both sex and alcohol.

 

[Georgebobbilly]

I'll admit I like receiving praise for my work and seek it. Mainly because I want to make sure that I did something right and to whomever tasked me's specifications. I have no problem being told "Actually I wanted it like this", what I do having a problem with is "Well that's not quite right, I can't say what it is I want fixed but I know this isn't what I wanted", nothing infuriates me more then someone not knowing what they want.

 

[Dancingweapon]

What does annoy me is that patronizing type of praise. The kind of people who praise you in amazement every time you do something positive. As in for the simplest tasks type thing. If I wasn't such a bitch to people I might enjoy it, but I just find it rude.

I like praise, like, real praise however. For example, when I fix that problem with the printer and someone say "ah thanks, you're great I'm useless with this type of shit" it's nice. I don't think praise makes people into princesses at all however. I rather feel it conditions people into a way of thinking/doing things. Hell, I don't mean to sound too much like Skinner's pet rat but when I connect stimuli x to pleasure y I tend to do it more often.

 

[Uzor]

Well, I suppose I do like that kind of praise. I don't like people telling me I do a good job, but I at least appreciate if someone say "thank you" if I help them out with something, but I don't like them going further saying "Wow, fantastic" or something. Just a simple thank you is enough. What I mean when I say I don't like praise is them telling me "This is great!" or "Wow, good work!"

 

[Dancingweapon]

Well, I suppose I do like that kind of praise. I don't like people telling me I do a good job, but I at least appreciate if someone say "thank you" if I help them out with something, but I don't like them going further saying "Wow, fantastic" or something. Just a simple thank you is enough. What I mean when I say I don't like praise is them telling me "This is great!" or "Wow, good work!"

See, that's what I associate with patronizing. I may be wrong but when people throw out words like "WOW!" and "Great work!" I tend to cringe and think "THANKS! I appreciate the kids show appreciation as much as my 9 year old cousin."

 

[Stine]

I like having praise for my work every so often. It doesn't have to be every day or even every other day but it is nice to know that I am appreciated. Now I don't prefer being awarded something in public or in front of a group of people. Being that I am a shy person that really makes me feel awkward unless I'm with a group of people who are being acknowledged. Having feedback on my work is preferred such as, "I like what you did with this," or even criticism like, "You could have worked it this way to improve it." Like GBB I can't stand when someone tells you that they don't like something but don't know why or don't have any suggestions on how to improve.

 

[Morcheeba]

I like receiving praise for a job well done when that job took a lot of effort and time out of my schedule to complete. Or when that particular task was a huge asset to my superior. I don't particularly care otherwise, minor tasks can be overlooked. Getting too much attention is uncomfortable, I feel that way too Uzor, with praise. Makes me kinda squirmy.

E- oh and as far it affecting my self esteem, it doesn't. Constantly being overlooked or unappreciated however makes me feel crappy. But it doesn't make me feel like I'm any less good at what I do.

I once was acknowledged in a meeting having only been with the company all of 2 months. I was pretty much put up on a pedestal and everyone told they should 'be more like me'. That's what I got out of it and it was not only incredibly embarrassing but I felt it was in terribly bad taste.

 

[Georgebobbilly]

I like having praise for my work every so often. It doesn't have to be every day or even every other day but it is nice to know that I am appreciated. Now I don't prefer being awarded something in public or in front of a group of people. Being that I am a shy person that really makes me feel awkward unless I'm with a group of people who are being acknowledged. Having feedback on my work is preferred such as, "I like what you did with this," or even criticism like, "You could have worked it this way to improve it." Like GBB I can't stand when someone tells you that they don't like something but don't know why or don't have any suggestions on how to improve.

I don't mind a little public praise... page 2

http://www.scribd.com/doc/1507620/US-Air-Force-AFD061115062

 

[Uzor]

See, that's what I associate with patronizing. I may be wrong but when people throw out words like "WOW!" and "Great work!" I tend to cringe and think "THANKS! I appreciate the kids show appreciation as much as my 9 year old cousin."

Well, yeah. I think that may be what I don't like with praise, a lot of the time it feels forced and fake, so I suppose it makes me feel awkward because I subconsciously don't know whether they say it because they're sincere or because they're trying to be nice.

Sort of like praise is a way of saying I don't do a good job normally, and I need to be "rewarded" when I actually DO perform a good job, kind of like a dog being taught a new trick. As opposed to a "Thank you" when I go out of my way to help someone, as that's more of a way of letting me know they're grateful I did go out of my way to help someone out, which is a more sincere kind of praise as you don't normally always do go out of your way to help someone out. The more I think about it, the more I realize I actually might be slightly offended by praise - which is quite surprising, as I'm otherwise very hard to offend. A stranger could walk up and call me a fucking cuntbag dickwad and I'd shrug it off and laugh, so it's kind of strange praise would put me in a worse situation than that.

 

[ShomeGhuye]

I think in my case it really depends on the situation. Generally speaking if I did an amazing job on something, I like to know about it. But I don't want the person giving the praise making a huge deal out of it (informing other people who couldn't care less, informing other people who do care and in turn pile on more praise, repeating the praise over and over, etc.) because then it gets awkward for me.

The above applies to a small target audience though. I do some work for my boss and he likes it, the above applies. I install a router for my grandmother, the above applies. If however I do something for a large group of people, I don't mind hearing the praise repeated. I also don't mind the occasional "I don't like it" when it's a large group, so long as they tell me why.