ungghh...that's exactly the problem. Said human DOES want to change, does want to work on his schtuff..but has multiple barriers - some his fault, some not. The one's that ARE his fault are mistakes from 5+ years ago. I can honestly say that to picture him doing the shit he did then is nearly impossible. It seems very out of character from the person I know now.
However.
Said issues and trauma have had an impact on him, as it would anyone. I think - to a higher degree than even he is aware - yet. He has commented on things like, "One of the things I love about you are your annoying attempts to make me a better man."
MMk..and there's a LOT more to this story but I'm trying to protect his privacy - not so much mine - hehe...I'm an open book. Well on here, I don't think I've "come out" as into the "scene" ANYWHERE else...
but I digress
It's just sooo up and down. Right now? It's back up because Saturday night and sunday morning he really impressed me. But Saturday afternoon I was ready to put on my ambivalence life-saver and go for a swim.
And I did spend 10 years with an egotistical pretty boy who was a cop and had the mentality, maturity, and intellect that seems to go with that job...and being a has-been high school sports star. He could bench press me 6 ways from Sunday...unfortunately the only thing his brain was good for was finding new and interesting ways of making me feel crazy, insecure, ugly, and blah blah blah...so I got out. I won't do that again, no worries
Okay..being wayyyyyyyyyyyyy to intimate here.
Runs over there ~~~~~~~>