It's not a matter of sending flowers.
Many people choose to have money donated from sympathizers go to a charity or organization that the deceased believed in, instead of using the money for themselves. For example, I worked a funeral yesterday, and the family had all the funds go to a division of a local hospital that does cancer research. All the cheques were made out to the organization and not the family. If Sphene's family was doing the same thing, her name would be kept anonymous from the community, as those who wanted to donate would just need to know the organization that the donations are going to and send it off to the funeral home, where the proceeds would be sent to the organization from there. Another idea would be to send a collective amount to one person, and have that one person send all the proceeds to the funeral home, but that would only work if you trusted sending that person your money. Anyways, it's just a thought and I respect not wanting to give her identity away.