When it hits you...

[Illyria]

I have spent a good deal of the past 6 years playing FFXI. I started out very casual and slowly started to play more. About 2-3 years ago it really picked up and over the last year or so I was pretty much on every night and for the most part it was do to some type of event. I was putting FFXI before my friends and even my family because I had developed such a schedule of events and I felt bound to it almost as if it had become a 2nd job for me to be online at a set time for set things. It had actually started to take a toll on my relationship even tho we were playing together. This need to be on for events I had signed up for comes from the fact that I am very loyal person and I tend to put others before myself. (That is kinda a condensed version of my playing)

Because of the time I spend playing FFXI I don't have a large number of friends out in the real world but these friends I do have a pretty small tight knit group. My best friend became pregnant last fall and is getting married in August. (She actually had a courthouse wedding in March but is having a church wedding in Aug) I would literally have to make time and take myself away from my beloved FFXI for her. This was on top of me damaging my relationship because I knew very well I was breaking that little SE don't forget your friends and family blah blah blah but as I said I'm a loyal person and also feel a close friendship with many people in my LS.

Something changed all of this over the weekend.

My best friends baby wasn't due until June 8th but on Saturday she was in pain and they told her to come into the hospital just to check things. Well her husband was at work and her cousin couldn't come get her right away. We had already been planing to work on wedding stuff and I was about to head out the door to her house when she told me she needed someone to take her and I was able and willing to help her out. An hour later we found out she was in labor and the baby was gonna be born. At 4:01 PM my beautiful "niece" Jessica Lynn was born and pretty much changed my life forever.

I had never planned on being at the hospital when she was born. My friend had never asked me to be there for the delivery or anything like that and while I didn't see Jessica born something in me changed that day. I more or less woke up and realized the life I had been letting pass me by. It hit me that I was being so loyal to my FFXI "family" I had almost completely given up the friends and family I have in the real world. You always hear people say that having a baby changes your life but what you don't realize is how much it can help change the live of others as well.

I have recommitted myself to rebuilding and strengthen my relationships with the people I love. I have a 12 year old sister I hardly see along with my dad. I have friends I text message more than I see and all of that is going to change this summer. I am not yet completely ready to leave FFXI but for now I am on break and only plan to play for fun when I feel like it.

So I ask when did it hit you? Doesn't even have to be about FFXI taking over your life but I have learned so much about myself over the last few days I figured there are surely other people who have had that moment of realizing life is about to change for the better and I would love to hear about it.

 

[Tristam Green]

The sheer amount of collective time spent on FFXI was a large contributing factor to major issues Stine and I experienced in our first year of marriage. We don't talk about it much publicly or privately, but there were a couple of times where we weren't sure we'd make it.

We played on for a little over a year after we resolved those issues, but then we quit on 1/1/09 and haven't looked back since. Honestly, I say we're far happier now than we've ever been, and enjoying our lives with each other immensely, and are about to welcome our first child in just a couple of months.

 

[Kaientai]

When I started playing in September of '05 I never fully got into the game. The friends who got me started were gradually leaving for other games and so forth. I stopped after about 4 months and then when TOAU came out, I started playing again and never stopped. It was also about this time my girlfriend started to play as well.

We weren't living together as of yet (she was also still married at the time), but we spent a lot of time online helping each other out and making friends. At home, I pretty much isolated myself off from everyone else. I used the game as an escape form every day issues. I always made excuses to "stay on" even though nothing was going on. I never thought about "Well, nothing going on the game right now so I'll go out." I stayed on.

After my girlfriend divorced her husband and I relocated to be closer to her, our game play pretty much remained the same even when we were together. Lately, though, it's been less and less game time. While we do play it's never as much as we used to. Previously, there were times were I wanted to not get on and do something else, but she would say "Well, we have Dynamis tonight" and I would respond with "So?" This, sadly, would result in arguments to where I felt that the game had become more important to her than it was to me. Not being any better, I know I've done that to her a few times as well.

Over time her son, (who is 13) told her that when he was over at our house she was playing too much and would rather she spend time with him (she shares custody with her ex in that they alternate weeks). As a result, my girlfriend has made it a point NOT to be on when her son is here. There are sometimes where her son is OK with her getting on, but for the most part she won't do it. This past December, I decided to step down as co-leader of my Dynamis LS and take a break. I originally thought it was going to be only a couple of weeks, but it turned into at least a month. My girlfriend also took the same break I did. Once returned, our play time has decreased to where we get on "when we feel like it" and for Dynamis on Sundays and Thursdays.

Also, we have rediscovered what I like to call "analog gaming." We are playing more board or card games instead of getting online. Ginny's son loves this and we have fun and spend time with each other rather than stare at a computer screen while her son twiddles his thumbs.

Was it an addiction? Yes. Is it now? No. We get on when it's on OUR terms. If we don't feel like doing Dynamis, we don't get on. Don't feel like farming? We won't get on.

The game became our lives, but now we are in control of both.

 

[Stine]

The sheer amount of collective time spent on FFXI was a large contributing factor to major issues Stine and I experienced in our first year of marriage. We don't talk about it much publicly or privately, but there were a couple of times where we weren't sure we'd make it.

We played on for a little over a year after we resolved those issues, but then we quit on 1/1/09 and haven't looked back since. Honestly, I say we're far happier now than we've ever been, and enjoying our lives with each other immensely, and are about to welcome our first child in just a couple of months.

One of the major reasons that we quit was the fact that we were letting game issues get to us. Seeing Tristam throw his keyboard across the room during a panty raid and hearing him complain about the game during the 45 minute drive from our house to my parents' house during the Christmas holidays really made me think that we had had enough. I originally played the game by myself and got him into it. We did have a lot of fun with the game but after a while it just took up all of our free time.

 

[Tristam Green]

ain't that the truth, lol.

 

[ShomeGhuye]

I don't remember the exact circumstances in game of when it hit me, but I remember some of it. I was either in a party, or just wandering around in Whitegate. I was just kinda sitting on the couch, and it dawned on me: "This just isn't fun for me anymore". Even in a party, even when doing solo stuff like campaign, even doing missions had lost that certain something that they used to have.

The only sort of fun I'd have was vs. stuff like HNMs or T3+ ZNMs. But really, I *hate* camping anything with a respawn window greater than 30 minutes and farming plates for zeni wasn't something I was willing to do anymore. I got an email from a friend asking what's up, seeing how I'm doing, etc. I decided to go back into game, chat with a few people see how they were doing too. It was nice to catch up, but same as before, it just wasn't that fun, and usually the people were busy or didn't have much to say.

So, same reason, I quit again. I doubt I'll come back this time, even if I do get an email. I don't regret the time I spent in FFXI, since a lot of it *was* fun. The appeal just faded for me I guess.

 

[Raesvelg]

I'll be honest, these days when I play, I mostly play just to pass the time. It's what I do instead of playing other games, which are also insufficiently enthralling to captivate my attention fully.

I'm not sure if I'd ever come back to Quetz. There are a very few people who I owe enough to come back for, but most of them have quit themselves.

 

[ShomeGhuye]

It's what I do instead of playing other games, which are also insufficiently enthralling to captivate my attention fully.

Play portal, if you haven't tried it already. Should still be free for mac if you've got one.

I also started making a map for CS:S, which I found very enthralling.

 

[Raesvelg]

Play portal, if you haven't tried it already. Should still be free for mac if you've got one.

I also started making a map for CS:S, which I found very enthralling.

I did. It's fun, but meh. I'm just feeling very fickle these days, I think.

 

[Illyria]

Why is it I expected a reply from TG and Stine just based on seeing how you all talk on here

Kaientai: What your g/f would say about Dynamis is exactly what I was saying about Salvage. We were to the point that we would skip Dynamis because it was the only things we felt we could skip to do anything. Now instead we have events on on 2 nights and we choose to go to Dynamis when we want to but I have a feeling that won't be very often.

As it turns out this has probably been the best thing to happen to me in a while. I took almost a week off and it was lovely. I would literally go home from work and log on and sit for about 3 hours a day waiting for something to happen. Now I go home and watch TV with my mom or I go to my friends to help with the baby. Shaw and I have decided to start cooking more dinners together and its been nice. I don't think Shaw and I are ready to quit because FF is what brought us together but we are so much happier being able to play on our terms.

Thanks for the stories guys. Its a reminder that I am finally doing something for the right reasons.

 

[Myrrh]

I really want to quit this game and live my life but due to my current medical issues. I am unable to and I am using this game to kill time till my Transplant.

 

[Stine]

Why is it I expected a reply from TG and Stine just based on seeing how you all talk on here

Plus Tristam loves to post a lot. lol

There's nothing wrong with playing the game as long as you don't let it get out of hand. I was a pretty casual player until the last year or two before we quit. One reason why it took forever for me to hit 75. lol I miss the fun times but definitely not the drama from endgame stuff. We still play some video games but usually we're playing it together or one is watching the other play.

I really want to quit this game and live my life but due to my current medical issues. I am unable to and I am using this game to kill time till my Transplant.

I do miss playing around with Myrrh for the tiny bit that I got to ingame. <3 Do you know when the transplant is supposed to happen?

 

[Tristam Green]

Plus Tristam loves to post a lot. lol

Not as much as I love to have sex undress romance do stuff with my ultra hot wife!

 

[Myrrh]

Do you know when the transplant is supposed to happen?

When someone who has the proper lungs dies?

 

[Stine]

When someone who has the proper lungs dies?

Sorry that was a dumb question. >.< My bad.

 

[Tristam Green]

When someone who has the proper lungs dies?

I'm actually frightened by him enough to know that I keep a minimum of three state-lines between me and him, and I change my phone number every month so he can't track me down.

I may or may not be a match for Myrrh's blood type.

 

[Myrrh]

Sorry that was a dumb question. >.< My bad.

You aren't the first to ask and won't be the last. lol

 

[Zaltana]

Nice story. I think my GF needs a wake up call of this magnitude.

 

[Tristam Green]

i thought she quit a long time ago.

 

[Zaltana]

she did. but FFXI was never a problem. The problem is herself, so to speak.