child support

masterorion said:
your still trying to make your point stand. your point is only one case. not everyone has the same situation as you and i. i love my son to death. i would do whatever i can for him. im not a deadbeat. i do want to be in my childs life. women are not so innocent.
what you have gone through is just one instance of the thousands of divorces that happen. your case is not the outline of how all divorces with children, happen.
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Again, I am only telling my personal experience. I have friends who have gone thru the same or even worse than me. I have said not all fathers are bad and it is also some mothers who are pieces of crap.

I have also said, your ex may be a total loser, but it is none of your business about that aspect of her life. It's the child you need to focus on.

I don't know why you think I'm attacking you. I'm just giving it to you straight. I did the same thing with my brother when his ex tried to pull her crap. He chose to fight. Yah he lost as far as her taking Sabrina and leaving the state. But he ended up getting so much more by that fight. Again, I won't go into details about my brother, cuz what I say about my own life is my business, but me talking about specifics with my family is totally another.
 
masterorion said:
god damnit.....none of it ever happened to begin with. it was all a bs lie to get what she wants. there is nothing for me to change. fact is, statements have already been made. the most fit person to hold custody, in the courts eyes, will be the mother for obvious reasons. there is no joint custody there is no part custody period. i get to see my son if my wife isnt on teh fuckin rag and having a chip on her shoulder. because guess what, since i cannot afford a vehicle to go 20-30 miles to see him, i have to wait for her schedule to free up.
and, do u know why i dont have a vehicle? could it possibly be that its one of those expenses that i cannot afford atm because i have to choose between paying for my son, or having a car?
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I'm not saying you did. I am saying Mitch did and the judge didn't give 2 craps.
 
yes, but your using your personal experience and stereotyping the rest of us.
the original argument/debate was about not being able to pay because a person is down and out. guess what, it isnt uncommon for people got go up to a month and not get a job that can support whatever "legal contracts" they are currently in. such as a lease agreement. so, if your living by the means of 15 bucks an hour, are you going to be able to take a min wage job to continually stay at the point that you were? but then your argument goes down to "you have to do what you have to do to support the child". which then refers back to the custodial saying "i want my fuckin money, i dont care how much of a slave you have to be to get that money either...do it or fry in hell"
 
Kat said:
I'm not saying you did. I am saying Mitch did and the judge didn't give 2 craps.
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yes i know i didnt. and i know there are others out there that have done what they can also. but your using those cases that absolutely refuse to pay to back your story
 
Okay, one more example about child support. My brother is DOC. He worked for the Sheridan State Correctional Facility. Well when Ryan got in office, he had it closed down. My brother also went to Waubonsee for Mechanics. Anyway, when he lost his position at Sheridan, he ended up getting a job in the WalMart Automotive Dept. Therefore, he had to go to court and get his child support reduced, not only on Sabrina, but also for Nicole. As someone else has also pointed out earlier in this thread, you just have to keep the Dept. of Family Services notified. They will help you.

I'm sorry, but you're just whining. For the millionth time, DO
 
and then I did it again. Anyway ... quit whining and do something.
 
Kat said:
Okay, one more example about child support. My brother is DOC. He worked for the Sheridan State Correctional Facility. Well when Ryan got in office, he had it closed down. My brother also went to Waubonsee for Mechanics. Anyway, when he lost his position at Sheridan, he ended up getting a job in the WalMart Automotive Dept. Therefore, he had to go to court and get his child support reduced, not only on Sabrina, but also for Nicole. As someone else has also pointed out earlier in this thread, you just have to keep the Dept. of Family Services notified. They will help you.

I'm sorry, but you're just whining. For the millionth time, DO
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and as ive said before, no, they wont work with you. already have gone through all that.
 
I'm sorry, I do not believe that. If your income has decreased then so should the payment. I've seen it happen over and over and over.
 
so, for the millionth time, i support things that "could" happen. the world isnt perfect. if the world was perfect, there wouldnt be cases of people that are down on their luck.
if what you think is that there is absolutely, never, ever ever ever any excuse...your blind.
and if you honestly think that the dept of children and families help people, your wrong. its obvious that your wrong. your on the opposite end of the whole CS system. your not the one that needs the help. therefore, you have no need to look to them for help. how would you know. i have needed help from them before. and you know what happened? fill out this form and send it in and we can have your amt reduced to min wage. the process takes over a month. does that help anyone when they are out of a job? fuck no. get the blinders off and face the real world. its the state government that has to be dealt with. they arent going to help. and its proven fact that they wont because ive been there done that and got the mutha fuckin kick in the ass out the door.
 
Here's a link to your state's guidelines. I feel you need to try again.

http://www.myflorida.com/dor/childsupport/guidlines.html

Here is an excert from that webpage.

Guideline Deviation:


The court may deviate from the guidelines if there is a written finding in the court record that the guidelines would be inappropriate in that particular case.
The finding must include the amount of support that would have been required under the guidelines and reason why the order varies.
 
Kat said:
I'm sorry, I do not believe that. If your income has decreased then so should the payment. I've seen it happen over and over and over.
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of course you dont believe it because it goes against your side of the story. they will only reduce it to the min wage amount. period, end of story. hypothetically.....i reiterated this over and over....hypothetically, if a person cant get work for a month that not only supports him and his child support, guess what, that person is screwed. they will only reduce payment to the amount that is being made. if your out of work for a month, they will NOT defer the payment. in the meantime, the person is going under and the other half is still doing just fine as they were without the piddly amount of money they get a month. get a god damn clue and realize the world isnt the way that it works for u
 
Sorry, again you're just whining in my eyes. I'm done with thread. When you decide to quit feeling sorry for yourself and do something, I'll be more than willing to listen.
 
Kat said:
Here's a link to your state's guidelines. I feel you need to try again.

http://www.myflorida.com/dor/childsupport/guidlines.html

Here is an excert from that webpage.

Guideline Deviation:


The court may deviate from the guidelines if there is a written finding in the court record that the guidelines would be inappropriate in that particular case.
The finding must include the amount of support that would have been required under the guidelines and reason why the order varies.
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maymaymaymaymaymaymaymaymaymaymay
maymaymaymaymaymay
maymaymaymay
maymay
may
may does not mean they will
kthx
 
Kat said:
Sorry, again you're just whining in my eyes. I'm done with thread. When you decide to quit feeling sorry for yourself and do something, I'll be more than willing to listen.
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you arent listening in the first place. you dont get it. your still thinking that im not paying and all this other bs. im getting tired of having to reitterate that im doing what im supposed to.
 
Kat said:
Here's a link to your state's guidelines. I feel you need to try again.

http://www.myflorida.com/dor/childsupport/guidlines.html

Here is an excert from that webpage.

Guideline Deviation:


The court may deviate from the guidelines if there is a written finding in the court record that the guidelines would be inappropriate in that particular case.
The finding must include the amount of support that would have been required under the guidelines and reason why the order varies.
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oh, so the courst work at the snap of a finger there for you?
 
for those that dont know what kat meant in the last post. the deviation that they can make is to reduce the amount you pay. so, say you lose your job and are without a job for a month. they can reduce the amount you pay. HOWEVER, this amount may not be lower than minimum wage. sooooo, regardless of employment or not, you MUST pay at least min wage. unless you know more than the state, this is right. but that is coming directly from the dept of child support enforcement here in florida.
 
masterorion said:
women need to buck up and earn money with a job as well as a man can. let me guess tho, "we have to watch the child and pay for child care".....bingo, child support...use it. use it to pay the child care so you can go work and provide the other half of the support instead of relying on welfare and money from the father.
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I know you are talking from your experiences but none of my friends who are divorced are on state aid...all of them hold jobs. Also...do you have ANY idea how much childcare costs? I am talking about some place you could leave your child without driving away in tears. I still pay $90/month for my son to have part time care 3 afternoons a week after school. When they were younger it was over $600 per child for full time care.


Firestreak said:
Wouldn't it be better to have a system that's fair and at the same time firm and doesn't even involve the courts? I pay into social security automatically when I get a paycheck, I don't see why the same couldn't be done for child support payments. The problem is the system fails in your case by not holding a truly deadbeat father's feet to the fire, but at the same time fails in Masterorion's case by not even attempting to force the mother to get off her ass and earn some money for her kids.

These failures don't counter each other out, they favor deadbeat parents and they allow the system to be abused at the expense of the children.
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Yes it would absolutely be better...but there just aren't enough case workers etc to look that closely at every single case. Unfortunately your suggestion could potentially hurt women/men/children who legitimately need aid.

Yoshindor said:
This is my point exactly why are mothers alowed to sit and do nothing and men work their asses off.

Double standard much!?
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I find it interesting how most of the men in this thread assume that all women sit on their asses. When there are two women in this thread that worked/work their asses off to provide for their children as well.



I understand this is a volatile topic...especially for those of us that have direct experience. M.O. you say what if the roles were reversed. All I can tell you is yes...it would piss me off..but like Kat has said...I'd do WHATEVER I had to do to make sure my child was taken care of. Believe me...if I had a choice I wouldn't have a fucking thing to do with my ex. He's perhaps the only person in this world I can honestly say I hate. But...I put that aside for my children. I would do anything for them. He "talks" about taking them more often..funny he even occasionally starts the conversation as if he's expecting a fight but I always say sure...and guess what he NEVER comes to get them for extra time. I've even called and asked him if he'd like to have them for his birthday to which I get the reply that it's my weekend? WTF does it matter who's weekend it is? Truth is a lot of men talk like they want equal/more time..but when it comes down to it...they're not there. I'm NOT saying that is you...just saying what I've experienced and seen around me.

We've been separated/divorced for over 6 years now...and my kids are starting to chose (on their own...I do not talk shit about their dad in front of them) because they see for themselves what kind of man he is. At this point I make them continue to go visit him, but some day it will no longer be up to me...and I feel sorry for him in that regard because he's losing touch with his kids thru no fault but his own.



Firestreak said:
I think a fair solution is that a person on child support shouldn't be eligable to get welfare for more than 6 months after divorce.

This is because of the incentive structure. As child support isn't counted as income, if women get a job they lose their welfare check, so the only way to increase their income is to have more children. With welfare and child support you can survive. The idea behind giving mothers all that extra welfare is to provide for the kids. But it as a result gives less incentive to go out and get a job.

As Kat said, and I agree, there's no excuse to not be able to provide for your children, that equates to women as well. They can scrub toilets, or make Big Macs, or wait tables. If the state is so concerned she's unable and the kid is goin to starve to death, give the father custody, give it to a foster home.

Afterall, should the government encourage women to reproduce for monetary purposes?
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bah...don't know how that last quote got in there.
 
I know you are talking from your experiences but none of my friends who are divorced are on state aid...all of them hold jobs. Also...do you have ANY idea how much childcare costs? I am talking about some place you could leave your child without driving away in tears. I still pay $90/month for my son to have part time care 3 afternoons a week after school. When they were younger it was over $600 per child for full time care.
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i am giving an example of my experience. however, i am not the only one that has this experience.
for the child support, its one of those excuses that doesnt fly over with me. well, in my case anyhow. my ex, if she doesnt want to pay child care, bring him to me. i dont wannna hear whinning about "ow, i have to pay this kinda money to have someone watch the kid"...in the meantime, they havent asked the spouse if they could watch the child.
 
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