I think you've giving the kids way too little responsibility here. Sure if we're talking about a 6 year old doing something wrong, and maybe even middle schoolers in certain cases. These kids are apparently smart enough to be doing this behind their parent's backs, so they must know that it's wrong.
Uzor said just about exactly what I was thinking. Teaching the kids the difference between right and wrong is pointless if you don't explain the consequences to them. If you tell a child stealing is wrong, they know it's wrong, but they don't understand why. If you explain to them how stealing hurts others, they understand better and are less likely to steal (at a young age). Eventually, you can just explain how it would make mom and dad sad if they knew you were doing something wrong, and if your children love you, that will be enough for them. I know it's enough for me.
You can't be with your kids all the time and sometimes even the best parenting won't stop a determined (and apparently horny) teenager. By the age of 2, humans have realized that they have a choice in their actions (my little baby tells me NO! all the time).
If I EVER told my mother no, there would be hell to pay. Before I was 18, if I had told her no, I would be living in a room with nothing but a bed and school books, and my meals consisting of little more than bread and water, would be brought to me. I would be allowed to leave to wash my dishes and do my laundry, while she stood next to me glaring in that way only she can. Even now that I am 26 years old, I know better than to tell my mother "no". My goal in life is to make her happy and make her proud of me.
The way your kids turn out is a reflection of your parenting, but even doing your damndest, you won't end up with perfect children. Should the child neglecters who end up with great children who overcome all odds take responsibility for their child's upbringing? I think it goes both ways. Bad parents can end up with good kids and good parents can end up with bad kids.
I agree with this, but for very specific reasons. There is no such thing as a perfect person. We will all make mistakes no matter what. When bad parents end up with good kids, it's because they have rebelled. They strive to be everything their parents weren't. They realize that their parents are worthless and hate them for it. Their need to be good people stems off of a strong hatered of their parents.
It's basiclly the same for good parents that have bad children. If the parents were to controlling and strict without making the children realize that they are deeply loved and cherished by the parents, then they will rebel and try to be everything their parents were not.
I had a good parent affect my life in a positive way, and I had a bad parent affect my life in a positive way. I love my mother, and even consider myself to be a "mamas boy". I would do most anything she tells me (aside from believe in god and don't smoke pot.) The worst punishment I could ever get would be for her to tell me she was disappointed in me. It happened one time, and I will never forget that feeling and I will do anything to never feel it again.
My father is a useless piece of shit crack head and I hate him and everything about him. I will never be like him and i will spit in his face (again) if he ever tries to say one word to me for the rest of his short ass miserable worthless life. He can never be sorry enough for what he did to my mother and sisters. He is the the one who has taught me the most about life, but he is the teacher that I am least thankful for because of how I learned from him.
