Well, I'll break it down for you like this:
Either you have no friends, or you're lying.
Those are your options. Otherwise, the topic will have come up repeatedly in the last 5+ years.
Now, you may choose to decline to discuss it, as is your right. I kept my love life extremely private for over a decade, simply because that's the way I was raised.
But to sit here and say that the topic of conversation has never arisen in 5 years leaves us with the aforementioned two options.
Our hypothetical homosexual soldier could exercise his right to not discuss his love life as well, obviously. But he shouldn't have to.
i agree with the last sentance. however, at the same time, that information shouldnt have to be mentioned either. i agree with that either way. but as i said before, in the military, your property of the government. your rights from the civilian sector as far as free speech and whatnot, disappear.
as for why no one knows my information, because i only have two options. a) i have no friends or b) im lying.
i would like to add a third option..... c) i lie about it. and of those 3 answers. my answer is C. at work(i work with all of them or have worked with all of them), there is some personal information that is just general knowledge that has no real meaning, such as: where i live. which, obviously, they do know. hobbies....of course. but when it comes to personal stuff such as sexual escapades, who i may or may not be sleeping with, what i did in the past etc.
stuff that is personal to me, i keep to me. its no ones business. such as sexual pref. its no ones business. perhaps im gay, bi, or straight. no one here will really know. i dont make it easy to find out either. i exaggerate my personal truths if it is something that doesnt need to be known.
so again, it is really that easy to keep sexual pref hidden. however, some people like to express it too much. if that is the case, the military currently, is not their best option. many homosexuals, bisexuals, etc have gone into the military,done all of their time that they enlisted for, got out and were able to keep it hidden.
until they change it, which they will, be discreet about it. i never said gays shouldnt have the right to openly say they are gay, but the fact is, no one in the military is openly asked that question.
nor are they allowed to be asked that question. this is also part of the signed policy that is supposed to be followed. and is chargeable under the UCMJ. so, half, there is your "double standard". both parties in the "dont ask dont tell" policy are punishible. whether or not both parties are punished is a whole different ball of wax. which, i will agree, just because i havent personally seen anyone get discharged for being gay/bi, that this may not get pursued so much as far as whomever asked about a members sexual pref.
ref:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don't_ask,_don't_tell
once they do allow gay military members to be open about it, nothing will change as far as what they are allowed to do, how to dress, how to act, etc. they just wont be discharged for admitting they are gay.
p.s- there is a difference between being asked and openly telling. raes, in your scenario about not having anything to contribute in a sexual conversation, ive seen a conversation like that MAYBE one time. but the so called, date stories dont happen. once the weekend hits, people head for the hills. they dont stick around. its not high school or college where your sexual war stories are a mark on the board for you. no one really cares. in college, it might matter.
but if i were to start going on about a guy/chick i had sexual relations with yesterday, would you really even want to know or even want to hear for that matter. i know i dont.
i would use these boards as a good example. how often do people ask or even tell about their excapades here. ill admit i might have seen it before on here. but, does anyone really care to hear about it