WSM,
The only woman you will ever get in your entire life is the Ugly Self-destructive chick that crashed the same party you crashed, got too drunk and passed out, and you decided ot take advantage of because "you were to drunk to know what you were doing" or at least that's what you will say in court when she sends your ass to jail for rape.
There are a couple things I learned in life.
1) People such as yourself are easy to figure out, and as somone so elequently put: You are one-dimensional. If you do have friends, they are probably as misinformed and uneducated as yourself, so no loss..
Basically you are the asshole customer that comes into the coffee shop, and complains about everything, acts like a complete asshole, and 'threatens' us with the "I am telling all my friends about this place and never coming here again." Listen. If I, a stranger can see you're an asshole I am sure your 'friends' can too. And if they don't they are probably idiots too... All and all, You are not the kind of customer we are trying to attract... So find another coffeeshop.
2) Women are women, and Women, unlike men, network. Good Rule to life in general. Be cool to all women, ugly, nice, hot, large, flat, small, etc... They all have friends... And they ALL Talk... You may not realize the effect of pissing off one ugly chick would have on your chances on the one you are pining after....
3) Homosexuality is not a bad thing... Some of my best friends are Gay, or Bi. You ever had a Bi-sexual girlfriend? You ever had a Bi-Sexual Girlfriend...and
her girlfriend?

You ever hung out with your Gay buddy and went to his house for 'movie night' to have the place littered with beutiful single women? Gay dudes are chick magnets... And the fact that you're thier friend makes all those women... Your friend... and Life is good
4) You are not fooling anyone. Never. You may think you are. You put so much effort into convincing yourself that you are right, or cool, or that you 'PWNT' somone.... You fail to evolve, change and better yourself. You're close minded and stubborn. People Like you either need to grow up, get use to one little phrase: "Would you like fries with that?"
5) If you don't start accepting when you are wrong and grow from it, you will be sitting in your Appartment complaining about how much of an asshole your boss is, and how your life is fucked because everyone else fucked up your life. And after a while people WILL start fucking jwith you, because you expect it. You become a loser.
Then again.. I should Stop Giving a Pitty Whore like you the Attention you are practically begging for.. Anyone that would lie about thier mother being dead to get sympathy form complete strangers has fucking issues....