Most awkward moment thread...

Way back in elementary school, around grade one, three of my friends and myself decided it would be a great idea to take some poison ivy, and rub it all over our skin during recess.

Now I'm talking about rubbing it on our own faces, arms, and private areas.

Luckily for me, it turns out that I'm immune to poison ivy and nothing happened. Sadly though, I didn't get to see my friends for a few weeks, as they has a really bad case of it.

Worst part of it all, is that they're still my three closest friends, and that was really only the beginning.
 
Whimsey said:
Why did they have poison ivy in their yard anyway? Sounds like a plot to keep kids indoors to me. >.>
Click to expand...

They mistook it for one of the lookalike plants so they hadn't removed it.
 
A few weeks ago I was on the bus at a base in Iraq just minding my own business. At one of the stops this hot chick gets on the bus and after we started to move to the next stop I decided to start talking to her. She loved hard rock, had an awesome personality and I could tell she was having fun talking to me. She was waiting around for a flight home to go on mid tour leave. Then the subject of her husband comes up... BUMMER. But wait, the husband seems to be a doochefag who has been cheating on her for the majority of their deployment and she was going to serve him divorce papers as soon as they got home. Turns out they were going to meet him in Kuwait as he was already waiting for her.

I asked her if she wanted to chill some more, innocently enough, and she said she would love to. We kind of hang out and all that stuff, more to pass the time than anything else, while she waited for the weather to get better so she could fly. (Sometimes it takes days to get flights out of that particular base if the weather is bad)

Anyway a couple days later I get back on the bus that is unusually crowded and learn that a ton of people just got there that morning. I sat down in a pull-down isle seat next to some guy I'd never seen before. Low and behold its the same chick sitting next to the window. I started talking to this guy though, making conversation, and told me he was flying down to Kuwait to fly home with his wife. I asked him where his wife was and he said it was the sweet little girl sitting next to him. She looks up at me red-faced and says hi, 'remember me? we talked on the bus before' with a look of 'oh god don't tell him what we had been talking about for the last few days'. Needless to say I felt a tad awkward sitting there by them after she said all that stuff and on top of it he started asking me opinions on relationships and marriages and stuff.
 
I guess one would be when i lived back at my moms house and i got up one morning and sat down to eat breakfast, when my brother whom just woke up himself drags himself into the kitchen, apparently his crotchal zone didnt have a button and his junk was hanging out and i glanced for a split second and immediatley turned face down into my serial bowl knowing it would be forever burned into my mind.
I never told him, it wasnt until days later i told my parents about it and they laughed till they cried and called him "winky" ever since.


Or the time my friend borrowed my PS2 for awhile, and when i brought it back home it had a dry white stain on the top of it, i thought it may have been milk or something....then i opened the ps2 to find he forgot a porn in the dvd drive, i immediatley scrubbed my ps2 like i never cleaned a game system before.
And to this day i have yet to tell him about it lol
 
Chasym said:
Or the time my friend borrowed my PS2 for awhile, and when i brought it back home it had a dry white stain on the top of it, i thought it may have been milk or something....then i opened the ps2 to find he forgot a porn in the dvd drive, i immediatley scrubbed my ps2 like i never cleaned a game system before.
And to this day i have yet to tell him about it lol
Click to expand...
Did you at least return the porn to him?
 
Guyfox said:
(Long funny story)
Click to expand...

That reminded me of this;

We were living on base, and my husband had been depolyed for three or four months, and I had gotten tired of politely fending off advances from soldiers. So I'm walking out of the base post office when this car pulls up to the sidewalk, the window rolls down, and someone says "Excuse me, miss, I have a question . . ."

So I walk over to the car, smile politely and say "Hi, I'm happily married, how can I help you?"

After a few minutes of looking surprised, the Seargent in the car says, "That's wonderful, so am I." And then asks for directions.
 
My twin sister (Hornless) and I carpool together since we work in the same town. This morning I went to her house and was going to lay down on the sofa until my sis finished getting ready but I noticed her husband was sleeping on the couch (he wasn't in trouble I think it's because he was playing around on Ultima Online late that night or something). So I went down the hall to look at something in my old bedroom then came back out and sat on the love seat. Her hubby must have woken up a little when I can back down the hall. He walks up to the love seat and leans over making kissing noises. I just look and say, "No!" and he looks startled. Then the "OMG I thought you were my wife," "I'm sorry," and laughing ensues. Hornless heard the ordeal and thought it was funny too.
 
Bluefrost said:
I knew this girl who got drunk one night and slept in poison ivy.
Click to expand...

I know this guy that was wasnt paying attention while up rock climbing and scaled a wall that had poision ivy growing all the way up to the top, he just moved the plants out of the way to find more hand/foot holds... wearing nothing but climbing shoes and shorts. I mean what kind of retard would do that? O.o

Wait... shit... that was me >.<!
 
Today at work my friend was taking someones order via the head set thingers, and they aren't all that great, in fact the blow shit. Anyways after taking like 5 minutes to order someone like 3 things, he thought he had turned off his head set and was like "God damn deaf people!"

Anyways when I was getting her money she was like "Oh yeah and could you tell the person who said 'God damn deaf people' that we could still hear him."

Was so funny, his face went so red.
 
Mirewen said:
You... have a male Gyno? I will only ever go to a female lol. Imo any man who is a Gyno, is just wrong. And don't get me started on why ANY gendered doctor would be a proctologist.
Click to expand...

I might add to this thread in a bit But lemme tell you how ironically close you are at the near association there...

I worked at a lot of coffee shops, but one in particular was infested with doctors, specifically anesthesiologists(<< There a fucking word I had to look up), they were an unusually happy group of fellows who all thought decafe was the devil. Memorable quotes: "It only costs a dollar to knock you out... The real money is in waking you up." and "I have over 54,000 career knock-outs!"

Anyways... They had this one buddy they use to bring with em, nice guy, really funny, never really know what he did, but he was always hanging out with the anesthesiologists, and I assumed he was one as well. Well as it turns out he was a proctologist. He explained to me he started out as a Gynocologist and got so sick of seeing the worst poon in the world, day in, day out, nasty puss drenched poon, hairy poon, dirty poon, injured poon, stressed poon, overused poon, poon with teeth, smelly poon, sticky poon... And he got to the point to where he didnt' have the urge to fuck his wife anymore. She's standing there as he's going off about this and she says "and that's when I told him to become a proctologist, maybe he'd get sick of my ass and get back to work where it matters." I have never seen this guy or any of the others phased by anything, but she just about floored everyone in the cafe, and to this day I ain't seen a human being ever turn that shade of purple.

On a more serious note, he basically told me that the job is one of the higher paying jobs in the medical fields, "No one likes to deal with other people's shit, everyone hates dealing with assholes; and they pay good money to people who do!"

I had a really hard time shaking his hand from that point on...

On to MY embarrassing story... (There are plenty, but we'll save the good ones for later...)

So a couple months ago I went from being abotu 6'3" @ 150 lbs, to 6'3" @ 205. My goal was 180, but I actually look 'normal' now, except for the mild case of male pregnancy... But I digress, I got a lump in my right manboob, and was little disturbed by it to I went to he doctor to get it checked out.

First part of the sorty: I went to get a physical, my doctor is hot... She must be like 3 years younger than me, in amazing shape, smart, and successful. So I like others in thie thread don'd the paper robe, and readied for a bit of the ol' turn n' cough. However, there's a twist. I got ~$100.00 worth of Titanium hanging from the business end of my happy bits... And I tried to warn her, "Hey listen I am warning you, I am pierced, so dont' think I am playing some kind of wierd joke on you." She shoots me the odd glance, and reaches under the paper for a poke. Her eyes lit up like a deer in headlights. Now... I am a sarcastic person by nature... It took every ounce of self control to keep my stupid mouth shut.

Second part of the story: So later... I had to get a mamogram... I was the only guy in the entire waiting room. Sitting there fillling out the little form that they need for history on previous images and examinations. All are biased towards the opposite sex. Questions like:

Have you ever had a pelvic exame Yes/No.
If yes when was the date of the exame (estimated) _______.
If no what reasons kept you from coming in for an exame? ____________.

etc...

So I filled them out, no I haven't had kids. My period has never been consistant, the last time I bled from my crotch was in Jr. High School, I skipped my pevlic exames on my last couple physicals, and as far as I know I am not on birth control....

The Machine, and the spirit of the thread. First. Fuck all you women out there. Be glad you have a fucking breast to smash. To be honest they don't give a shit how big your tits are, they're going to do everything in thier power to stretch your boob across that plate of glass, even if you don't have one, trust me, I know... Now this time I was a little bit more mouthy. Asking the nurses all kinds of questions, I personally felt really akward, where I am with ED-209 taking a chomp out of my tit and listening to the nurses talking about thier experiences. None of the usual doctor lies: "Of it's not too bad" crap, no, they were exacting some kind of revenge, they had one of the enemy in thier lair and they were going to make him "know" just what this thing does.

"So am I officially a woman now?" Was what I asked looking at the odd astrix of red pinch marks on my chest. They looked like someone spilled cranberry juice on my nipples while I slept. "Yes, you are one of us now." Was the response. It does make filling out the normal unisex check in paperwork more interesting... I got a lot more checkboxes I can fill: "When was your las mamogram?______."

On with the show.
 
....

...........

............... lol wtf?
 
i was dating this girl, it was my first real girlfriend, I was in 6th or 7th grade.
My little brothers used to spread rumors about me, and they even gave her some.
they would say things like i pick my nose, still pee the bed, crap my pants and whatever they could do to try and get people to make fun of me, since i teased them often myself.

So one day i am hanging out at my girfriends house and her and her little sister ask me "Your brother said you crap your pants, that true?"
so i laugh and explain why they say those things and assure them it isnt true.
So...i began climbing a tree in front on their house,
I was wearing gray shorts, and little did i know Diarrhea was about to strike.
I was hanging upside down, feet wrapped around a branch and hands holding on to it as well.
My ass was hanging in open view when.....i crapped my pants without notice and it showed right through those gray shorts.
My Girlfriends immediate response was
"EWWWWW IT IS TRUE!!! YOU DO CRAP YOUR PANTS!!!"
we broke up, i hoped she never told my friends, and i never climbed a tree again or over ate when mom made that home made chicken.
 
So, this one weekend a year or two back, I was supposed to meet up with my buddy Jesse, and he and I were supposed to go run some school related errands one morning. I walked over to his place, stopped in the parking lot, called him. No answer. I wait a minute. Call him again. No answer. So I figure the fuckers still alseep and forgot what was going on that day. I walked up to his door, nicked the spare key out of his potted plant, and figured I'd give him a good scare by kicking in his door and making an unholy racket to wake him up. Unlocked the door, busted in...

And saw him and his girlfriend fucking on his couch. And I, being the genius that I am, don't excuse myself and step outside. Nor do I appologize. Instead, I choose to do my best Kool-Aid man impression. "OH YEAH!". My buddy starts cracking up about the same time his chicky friend realizes to start screaming.

Was good times. Really.
 
Andreva said:
So, this one weekend a year or two back, I was supposed to meet up with my buddy Jesse, and he and I were supposed to go run some school related errands one morning. I walked over to his place, stopped in the parking lot, called him. No answer. I wait a minute. Call him again. No answer. So I figure the fuckers still alseep and forgot what was going on that day. I walked up to his door, nicked the spare key out of his potted plant, and figured I'd give him a good scare by kicking in his door and making an unholy racket to wake him up. Unlocked the door, busted in...

And saw him and his girlfriend fucking on his couch. And I, being the genius that I am, don't excuse myself and step outside. Nor do I appologize. Instead, I choose to do my best Kool-Aid man impression. "OH YEAH!". My buddy starts cracking up about the same time his chicky friend realizes to start screaming.

Was good times. Really.
Click to expand...

kudos to you, she probrably thought you were the "other" girl after that rofl
 
This didn't happen to me, but is fun non-the-less. My friend and his girlfriend was sleeping over at his father's house, who had a lot of guests because it was midsummer. They chose to sleep outside in the tent. It was dark, so they left the lights on in their tent, and got in the mood. After having a good time together, he walked outside to take a piss, and found two people sitting there smoking. They looked at him with a smile and said "Did you have a good time?".

Although it doesn't beat the time he was gonna film something with the video recorder, and put the movie inside the VCR to see what was on it, only to find his father had recorded himself masturbating. Let's just say his friend's jaw dropped, and neither of them could look at his father the same way again.
 
Mirewen said:
What is with boys and farts... It's like they're proud when they let one rip and it stinks.
Click to expand...


We're men.

It's something born of us.

The closest to mothers pride we shall ever feel.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top