I should have made a post much sooner but seeing as how I did not have an account here that made it rather difficult.
My descent into madness began a little over a year ago after the leaders of the shell I was in decided to stop doing events. Nrsss tried to salvage what was left and start his own shell but by then many of the players had scattered to the four winds. I felt bad for him, I was thinking about the effort he was putting in trying to keep everyone together so I basically joined out of pity. The first few events we did were absolute fiascos, a horrible dynamis run comes to mind we didn't even have 2 full parties, but I kept plodding along and going to help out because I felt guilty about abandoning everyone there. I eventually joined a dynamis shell in an attempt to escape from Nrsss's dynamis runs. I'm glad I did because by doing that I've met some wonderful people. Then in another attept to escape some events I joined a Tuesday dynamis run...Nrsss changed the event schedule just so another player (who had accompanied me) and I could continue to do events with his shell...how thoughtful of him...DAMNIT >.<!!!!!!!
During all these events with Nrsss I noticed that certain players would do things that in most endgame linkshells would get you kicked for that kind of behaviour. A couple instances comes to mind...someone constantly going afk, if you can't be there for the majority of the event maybe you should tell everyone and log off so we don't think you're there and depend on you. Another instance someone was asked to come on their paladin, lack of tanks was a frequent problem, well that person didn't want to play tank so he logged off and came back in game after the event was done. Now because that guy is friends with the leader nothing came of that. Eventually I got fed up of this constant lack of tanks, as any paladin that would join our shell would quickly quit or go on break, I leveled the job. Yes I know, I'm insane. It was for the good of the LS, I took a much needed break and worked on that job. This leads to another minor frustration. My kingdom for a haste. Yeah there were a couple of white mages in there that wouldn't give me a haste to even start off a god fight with, fine I'll just lose shadows and die, whatever. It did get better in the end but that was only because the mages that knew what they were doing were covering other people's parties.
Leaders should be able to talk to their members and tell them what they need to do and why. If you don't plan on putting any effort into an event you waste everyone else's time. I don't want to have to spend my time recapping because of wipes that could have been avoided. And it is extreamly frustrating when someone is asked to do something and they don't do it which in turn causes the activity to be a loss when it didn't have to be. (Byakko at 1%, white mage melee and not raising...)
Oh about those 2 famous white mages everyone keeps referring to...I'm sorry Ghost but I'm still convinced it's a dual boxer. No two people can suck this bad in exactly the same way. They are always together, like joined at the hip or something. I refuse to acknowledge your reality!!!!! O_O
There were a few instances that were so frustrating that I wanted to rage quit. The instance that stood out the most was after a sky event he decided to do some diorite farming. He decided this after I had gotten a black mage to send me home. Some warning at the begginning of the event would have been nice. Now that sounds pretty boring and why would I be upset at missing something like that. Well it was because of his point system. He had decided that diorites were worth more in points than the 3 hours you spent sky farming or doing some other random event. That really messes with the claiming system. You rack up your points and regardless of how many you have, if its 50 or 300, if you have the most points for an item that is up for bid and you get it you lose all of your points. Now for someone who goes to every single event only to be beaten by someone who can't make all the events but does late night farming you could see how frustrating it is and how it would have been important to be there. I'm a person that hates wasting time so to have to run back up to sky to do this extra bit of farming was pissing me right off. There were other times when something similar in nature that would happen but I would just keep my mouth shut. I was also trying to save up for one more high profile item then cut down on attending events. I was looking for my freedom. I couldn't say if I was just pmsing that day but I pretty much had a brain agnurism on the spot. And its these little things that bothered me personally, they just add to the pile. I might have been some kind of pet in that shell, I know that Nrsss did not want to lose me and when a friend asked to give me all of his points Nrsss sent me a tell saying there was no way I would fall behind. But to me that's not the point, let everyone know ahead of time so we can adjust, be considerate in that way.
Now concerning the stuff Ghost was accused of doing. Many of those things could have been me, especially on that VNM fiasco. My frame of mind at that time was "I'm sick of this shell, I'm sick of people wasting my time, Just another one of Nrsss's hairbrained activities, This is stupid, I just wanna get my item I've been saving points for and gtfo, etc.". He wanted everyone to come on nuking jobs, I didn't feel like sacrificing the exp on my black mage for Nrsss so I came on my paladin it's easier to campaign. We ran around Jugner for a while popping nms and I was getting grumpier by the minute so I ran off to some secluded area popped an nm, died, home pointed, came back sub dancer and continued fighting my own things. I popped a tier one on purpose while Nrsss was trying to pop a tier two. I didn't get reprimanded for any of this. The only consequence to that was that I didn't get the 3 points for the tier two pop. Guess he couldn't get mad at the only tank that went to all the events. The others didn't show up as often as I did, real life obligations possibly, I don't know, I don't usually get involved in too many personal details.
Concerning the UFO farming I wonder if my comment made in jest was taken seriously, I'm almost sure it was. I can't get a high lot on anything except for feyweld logs and swamp ores. So I made an eye emote and for that I am sorry Ghost. I did tell them to knock it off but then they started harrassing you in tells.
Now about those eye emotes, I mean really, if you don't like someone just blacklist them. That's what it's there for. If you don't plan on using it then it's your own fault you whiney babies.
The last straw...Ghost being kicked from the shell. I consider Ghost to be a good friend to me and I feel that Nrsss was unjust with him, he'd already made his decision when he called his little meeting. Had I accepted Nrsss's proposal and become a leader (I can still hear a certain person who shall remain nameless laughing hysterically when I told him I was asked) I would have unknowingly gotten a front row seat. I'm certain that not all senior members knew what was going to happen when they got called for this meeting, that is my assumption and I have no proof of this. My only regret to not having accepted Nrsss's offer was that I wasn't there to defend Ghost. Believe me I would have put up a fight and put myself on the line. I was guilty of some of these accusations and I would have dared him to do the same to me as he was planning for Ghost, afterall that would mean one of his pets would be on the line.
I was one of the people that walked away that night. I didn't just burn that bridge, with my parting comment I set off a nuclear warhead and obliterated it.
