Ode to a DRK/WAR

Tomasello

Tomasello

Joe Cool
Adventurer
Joined
Oct 16, 2004
Messages
971
Location
New England
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Main Job
RedMage-Male
Secondary Job
DarkKnight-Male
Third Job
Paladin-Male
A little gem I read on lolallakhazam a while ago. Yes even they rarely have a post worth reading and this one made me chuckle so enjoy. (If you don't like lowbrow humor then you might as well stop reading now.)

Morrison from Allakhazam said:
Is that a Ninja? I think he's gonna have hate problems. You know what? Fuck it. I'm goin /WAR.

Yeah, I see /SAM has Hasso and Meditate. But fuck that. TP gain is for faggots. I'm a fucking Dark Knight. I can kill the damn thing in one hit. And, even if I miss, I bet I'll be able to pull it off the next go round. I like putting up big numbers. It makes my dick hard.

What's that? I should go /THF? Fuck that. That's gay. SATA? Gay. Seigan? Gay. Utsusemi? Galka Puppetmaster gay. Im a fucking Dark Knight. You can't just expect high numbers to come to you. You can't massage that shit. You gotta grab that mob by the throat and rape the ever-loving shit out of it. You think a 500 SATAWS is gonna kill the thing? You're a pussy. There ain't SAMs running this offense. Sexy Elvy's got the damage. The dragon. You gotta unleash the dragon.

Okay, I'm busting out a 200TP WS. Nice. Look at that damage. I look good. I bet I made that Mithra RDM wet her panties with that hit. She fucking wants me. I bet she likes it over a stair railing. I can hit that with 100% accuracy, my dear. Mmmmmm. I am delicious.

Oh shit. Looks like it didn’t die with that hit. Again. Oh well. It still felt fucking great to see the HP bar go down. Tell me that wasn't one of the prettiest Spiral Hells you ever saw. You know what? Not only am I gonna gain to 300TP the next time I’m not staring at the sky. I'm gonna hit it even stronger. Harder. You see that goblin digging holes with his little shovel? I'm gonna nail him right between the fucking eyes with a Sexy Elvy SoulEater-Guillotine. Why? Because I can.

This is an Elvaan DRK we're talking about here. We're talking 210 lbs. of twisted steel and sex appeal. I'm not just a gunslinger. I'm a cumslinger. Hitting the mob hard tells all the Elvaanettes that I am fucking out there. On the edge. Where I gotta be. The ladies love the danger. The unpredictability. Oh, maybe I'll tease them with a pretty Cross Reaper every now and again. But then I'm gonna go right back to pumping that mob out for all it's worth. It tells them I hit like I fuck. That's how we do things in the sexy business.

Tell me you're not turned on right now. I am.
Click to expand...
 
you know i read that thing with a freestyle, kinda song in mind

but that's awesome lol
 
I am.. turned on...
 
I've been saying it all along. Elf Drks > All other drks put together.
 
This makes me wanna go DRK/WAR.
 
I DRK/WAR'd most of the way to 75, and Stine liked it :3

Fuck you, Make. Fuck you.

I don't have to swing my Scythe, I just have to put the armor on to make the Mithra wet.
 
lowbrow humor lol

Not my style but it was amusing to read.
 
Its okay Trist. I know you have a lot of feelings going through your head right now. I mean, finally coming to the realization that you will never be as cool as me must really take some time. I understand though. Just try to get your head back on fast. I need a Moby look-a-like to sing "South Side" and you're the only one i trust.
 
Tristam Green said:
I don't have to swing my Scythe, I just have to put the armor on to make the Mithra wet.
Click to expand...

Really? Usually happens when I take my armor off.:wink:
 
Tristam Green said:
I DRK/WAR'd most of the way to 75, and Stine liked it :3

Fuck you, Make. Fuck you.

I don't have to swing my Scythe, I just have to put the armor on to make the Mithra wet.
Click to expand...

oh Tristam Green baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaby....... :spiteful:
 
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Guido dark knights uh roh
 
My wife mage has banned me from ever /WAR on my DRK. I feel so sad. I /WAR basically through 75 during XP. My Limbus shell wont let me come unless I /NIN. I miss regular swings that were on average of 280-300.....
 
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