The Wishing Hell Genie Game! (aka Corrupt-A-Wish)

[JP]

Granted, but the TV shows you get to watch all have bad plots, unlikeable characters, awful acting, and terrible sound direction.

I wish we didn't have so much lightning so often where I live.

Granted! But you have so much more rain and wind that it constantly knocks out your power so you have to do everything by candlelight. The wind is also so strong that one day it shatters your window and all the glass stabs you in the neck and face and now you have to go the hospital in this horrible weather which just cause more complications. You end up dying in the parking lot of the hospital.

I wish I wasn't so tired when I wake up.

 

[Morcheeba]

Granted, but the TV shows you get to watch all have bad plots, unlikeable characters, awful acting, and terrible sound direction.

I wish we didn't have so much lightning so often where I live.

Granted! However there are now many rainbows daily and down the skip fuzzy bunnies all the colours of a rainbow. Everyday they torture you with singalongs and sing songs of pretty pink bears and sugar lollipops until finally you succumb to the madness and take your own life by jabbing your eyes out with the sticks from the lollipops.

I wish I were better at games like this.

 

[Xalioniaf]

Granted! You're so good at this game, the consequences you post become downright depressing. One person ends up institutionalized.

I wish the Trix rabbit could get his hands on some Trix.

 

[Miros]

Granted! You're so good at this game, the consequences you post become downright depressing. One person ends up institutionalized.

I wish the Trix rabbit could get his hands on some Trix.

Granted, but as you and the Trix rabbit are celebrating you realize that the reason the Trix rabbit could not have any Trix is because it gave him massive diarrhea and as he sits in your room on your bed eating Trix with you his anus starts spewing the worst smelling diarrhea and you can never get the smell out of your nose.

I wish I had some boobies to play with.

 

[Myrrh]

I wish I had some boobies to play with.

Granted. You're greeted by a 700 pound man with terrible acne and hasn't had a shower in 2 years. As you play with the mans boobs you realise that you had it all wrong and now like women.

I wish I had better internet.

 

[Lukas]

Granted. You're greeted by a 700 pound man with terrible acne and hasn't had a shower in 2 years. As you play with the mans boobs you realise that you had it all wrong and now like women.

I wish I had better internet.

Granted! However, your internet is now so good that you download all the porn in the world in 15 minutes and begin to spend your days eating cookie dough and jerking it. You eventually grow to be 450 pounds and required assistance to do basic tasks like showering yourself and turning over in bed so you hire JP as your nurse, only you soon discover that JP is secretly in love with you as he's into that kind of thing. Fearing for the safety of your virgin cherry, you decide to make a fat-scape except that JP has set up several fat-traps of an elaborate nature so that you will never leave his loving embrace. While rolling through your living room towards freedom, you spot a delicious roast chicken out of the corner of your eye. As you reach for it, you plummet into a fat-ditch where you perforate your scrotum and remain there for the rest of your days with JP lowers food and "sweet lovin'" to you in a tiny wickerwork basket.

I wish I had never torn my hamstring.

 

[JP]

Granted! However, your internet is now so good that you download all the porn in the world in 15 minutes and begin to spend your days eating cookie dough and jerking it. You eventually grow to be 450 pounds and required assistance to do basic tasks like showering yourself and turning over in bed so you hire JP as your nurse, only you soon discover that JP is secretly in love with you as he's into that kind of thing. Fearing for the safety of your virgin cherry, you decide to make a fat-scape except that JP has set up several fat-traps of an elaborate nature so that you will never leave his loving embrace. While rolling through your living room towards freedom, you spot a delicious roast chicken out of the corner of your eye. As you reach for it, you plummet into a fat-ditch where you perforate your scrotum and remain there for the rest of your days with JP lowers food and "sweet lovin'" to you in a tiny wickerwork basket.

I wish I had never torn my hamstring.

(Why me? <_<)

Granted, but everything else in your body is torn, so you just sit around in your house all day being depressed about it until you drown yourself in your tub.

I wish I was Spiderman!

 

[Nyosan~]

(Why me? <_<)

Granted, but everything else in your body is torn, so you just sit around in your house all day being depressed about it until you drown yourself in your tub.

I wish I was Spiderman!

Granted! But rather than being The Spiderman, you are a spider-man hybrid. Your wife abhors your eight wooly appendages and constant sticky secretions, and files for divorce. A recent change to the Constitution renders you unrecognizable as 'human' in the more restrictive sense, and all of your worldly things are assigned to your wife in the divorce. You are forced to live in the woods, sustaining yourself on the only thing your strange form allows you to catch; deformed and diseased creatures like yourself.

I wish it didn't irk me when people neglected to use the subjunctive.

 

[Xalioniaf]

Granted! You're now a hick from the deep south.

I wish I was blind.

 

[Gerry]

Granted! You're now a hick from the deep south.

I wish I was blind.

Granted, but because you are blind now, you haven't been able to adjust to the sudden loss of your sight, and thus walk out into a street and get hit by a truck, leaving you in a coma for 15 years until your family decide to pull the plug due to your braindead state.

I wish I had more shelves.

 

[Nyosan~]

Granted, but because you are blind now, you haven't been able to adjust to the sudden loss of your sight, and thus walk out into a street and get hit by a truck, leaving you in a coma for 15 years until your family decide to pull the plug due to your braindead state.

I wish I had more shelves.

Granted, but when you arrive at work, your boss is waiting for you. He informs you that your position has been eliminated, effective immediately. You are unable to find employment, and end up selling the contents of your residence to make ends meet.

I wish I were at home, in bed.

 

[Morcheeba]

Granted, but when you arrive at work, your boss is waiting for you. He informs you that your position has been eliminated, effective immediately. You are unable to find employment, and end up selling the contents of your residence to make ends meet.

I wish I were at home, in bed.

Granted. You are put on strict bedrest after a tragic scooter accident. After several months of eating and laying in bed you develop nasty bed sores and your help leaves you to fend for yourself after learning the pus seeping from your body carries a deadly bacteria. Eventually your body starts rotting you to death until you die from severe infections. Your body decomposes so horribly your family decides it's barely worth having you cremated.

I wish I could go to the beach this summer.

 

[Gerry]

Granted. You are put on strict bedrest after a tragic scooter accident. After several months of eating and laying in bed you develop nasty bed sores and your help leaves you to fend for yourself after learning the pus seeping from your body carries a deadly bacteria. Eventually your body starts rotting you to death until you die from severe infections. Your body decomposes so horribly your family decides it's barely worth having you cremated.

I wish I could go to the beach this summer.

Granted, but you get attacked by a shark when swimming in the sea. You survive, but the attack scars you physically and emotionally, leaving you in never ending pain, and you can never go back to the beach again.

I wish university would start again already.

 

[Lukas]

Granted, but you get attacked by a shark when swimming in the sea. You survive, but the attack scars you physically and emotionally, leaving you in never ending pain, and you can never go back to the beach again.

I wish university would start again already.

Granted. But on your way to your very first class you are mauled by a bear and die. You discover that there is no afterlife, instead a bunch of squirrels decide what you will be reincarnated as by placing acorns randomly into an elaborate system of tubes. On each acorn is inscribed a potential new identity - you get "nasty mole on Rush Limbaugh's ass."

I wish this thread had more hot guys.

 

[Chasym]

Granted. But on your way to your very first class you are mauled by a bear and die. You discover that there is no afterlife, instead a bunch of squirrels decide what you will be reincarnated as by placing acorns randomly into an elaborate system of tubes. On each acorn is inscribed a potential new identity - you get "nasty mole on Rush Limbaugh's ass."

I wish this thread had more hot guys.

Granted, But the guys turn out to be over weight men sitting in hover rounds that are only hot in the sense that they cant stop sweating from carrying around their own excessive baggage.

I wish i had more time.

 

[ShomeGhuye]

Granted, But the guys turn out to be over weight men sitting in hover rounds that are only hot in the sense that they cant stop sweating from carrying around their own excessive baggage.

I wish i had more time.

Granted, but you're forced into hard labor during said time.

I wish clients weren't always such idiots.

 

[Gerry]

Granted, but you're forced into hard labor during said time.

I wish clients weren't always such idiots.

Granted, they are now snobs.

I wish I wasn't so fat.

 

[Uzor]

Granted, but now you have anorexia.

I wish the next poster's wish doesn't come true.

 

[Araine]

Granted, but now you have anorexia.

I wish the next poster's wish doesn't come true.

Granted, but since my wish didn't come true, you don't get the million dollars I wished for you to have!

I wish that Uzor will recieve a million dollars.

 

[Dancingweapon]

Granted, but now you have anorexia.

I wish the next poster's wish doesn't come true.

Granted, you've now fucked up the thread and entered us all into a bizarre paradox where time shifts randomly and Genie's are our overlords.

I wish we could wish again. Wait, wut?