If I'm in a party with you, I will check you and I will check you again if you change your gear at any time, because I like to know what the people I am relying on are wearing.
They're in your party, like it or not. I do believe the leader would benefit from a silent check of people looking for party, but that's not the topic of this discussion. When I give a party member strategy advise I usually ask if it's ok first to give them advise, seeing as just barking orders can be considered offensive. Just the same simply asking if you can check if their gears are alright isn't too much of an inconvieniance. If their performance is lacking due to a lack of good gear or strategy then comes the time to stop being the nice guy.
I see no reason why someone could be offended by a single line of text that says "/em examines you.". Comparisons to real life, such as 'How would you like it if someone came up to you and stared at you' are stupid, because unless you have never played the game before, how can you not know that that simply means that someone is interested in your equipment?
If you are interesting in equipment, why not ask? If you know it may be considered rude? Don't confuse the issue. The issue isn't if checking is rude. It's if it's rude to not ask first.
About asking someone if you can look at them, I did this once and got laughed at for it, before realising myself I did sound stupid doing it.
Of all the bogus crap. People are endorsing that anyone who's a dick to be offended by check is not worth knowing, but you're going to argue that you don't want to piss someone off by asking them to be checked?
The mentality that it is offensive to Japanese cultur is complete and uter bullshit, if that were the case it wouldn't be in the game. Plain and simple, the game was developed by Japanese primarily, released in Japan first where it still had the /check ability. If this really was so taboo in Japanese culture it would have never been in the game.
You are just blatently wrong here. It is offensive to many Japanese, I know this for a fact. However many won't be vocal to you about it although a few will.
There is still no reason why the person getting mad at being checked has a reason to be mad. You can say its rude all you want, maybe it is, but you havent shown why it is considered rude. If there was no notice at all that your gear was being looked at, do you think people would be so testy about it? No, because they would have no idea (unless you get a random tell afterwards asking for gil/help/why your equipment sucks).
If there was no notification message for /check, I would agree with you whole heartedly. However the fact remains there is, and that seems to have been added into the coding for a reason.
Loss of control, someone stated, there is a way to look at the mentality. When people check me I get the same eerie feeling in my head like back in 2nd grade when my friend used my crayons without asking. They were my crayons. I wouldn't have minded him using them. Why didn't he just ask me? It's the kind of thing that I don't care enough about to begin any confrontation, but I acknowledge to myself that something rude has taken place.
You'll find in life many times people will be offended by what seems childish. For example I had a friend who would flip out if you tried to correct her mispronounciation of certain words. To me it was silly, but to her it was important, so I never pushed that button because there was simply no reason to.
Yes this is a game, and no I don't take it too seriously. Simply if the question is brought to me if random checking is considered rude, I would say yes. If you want to argue with me about its merits, I will explain the pathway I am following.
Something is rude, because for whatever reason, the person you are doing something to, does not like it.
I'd simply say this. If someone checked me, and then right after asked me for help with something. The chances of me saying yes are nearly next to zero. Take that information as you will. That's just how I feel, and that's my right.