Wish granted, however, in your recent bout of newly aquired cleverness, you learn that your entire life was meaningless, and that you should express this newfound knowledge to the entire world, however you cannot find a way to do this logically. Since you have become so much more clever however, you figure the best way to do this would be to sneak into the White House, hold the President hostage, have the broadcast of it sent worldwide, and announce the world's meaningless existance. In doing so, David Hasselhoff finds you, smiles his gigantic smile, and you realize your recent discovery about the meaninglessness of life was false and that your true purpose in life is to find Richard Simmons, and tell him two simple words. When you find Richard Simmons, you tell him "It's ok!". He misinterprets this message you give him, and decides to kidnap you and make you his new love slave, all the while making you watch his own exercise videos in the process.
I wish all women accepted Sunday as sports day.