Kids and their lack of knowledge of contraceptives

[K. Ishitar]

parents i feel that let this happen try too hard to be the 'best friend' mom or dad and let you do whatever and get whatever or they have enough of their problems and dont consider your own. I think this issue stems from this

parents arent supposed to be your friends until after a long time, everything before is "What I tell you" with a consequence of "What will happen if you don't". Obviously there is some free will in the seams but just a personal view imo

 

[Halifirien]

Parents around the nation have made us dumb down the Sexual Education programs to a point of 30 minutes of filler between classes with no real information. Some schools aren't even allowed to hand out or even demonstrate on fruit how to put a condom on properly. You don't want the schools to teach your kids about safe sex and abstinence and say its your job... but then you don't do it yourselves? Great plan, guys.

The United States is still obsessed with its puritanical history of "sex=shame." You can shout "Wait until you're married!" and have chasity pledges and all that other stuff, but it's eventually going to run into the part about sex feeling good. Really, really, really good. That's one of the reasons we do it. Hormones are flowing, opportunities present themselves, and *boom* you have experimentation going on.

The Maine school's decision was a reaction to teen pregancies that were already happening in their district; since some of the kids are already having sex, they're trying to limit the damage. Students don't have unfettered access to contraception, since they have to obtain permission from their parents before they can even use the clinic's services. I imagine some parents will withdraw consent over this change.

 

[Fellina]

I should also add, that doctor-patient confidentiality is only applicable after age 18. As long as you're a legal dependent, then the parents or legal guardians have every right to make medical decisions on your behalf. If anything handing birth control pills out to these kids is a violation of the rights of the parents to be informed of their child's welfare.

The big issue here is that the parents are being asked to potentially sign away those rights in order to give the kids access to the clinic. They're not differentiating between handing out informative pamphlets, free condoms, or hormonal pills. The way they're trying to set it up an OK for one would be an OK for all, and that is what I feel is wrong.

 

[Makelith]

I'm gonna post a quote from one of my favorite TV shows, Desperate housewives. The story behind it is that one of the wives just found a condom in the laundry, and is assuming it belongs to her son.

Wife: "We need to do something about this! We can't have Andrew having sex at this young of an age! Take this condoms and all his other ones so he can't!"

Husband: "Darling, we could take his penis away, and i bet he would still try and have sex with something. If he's going to do it, he's going to do it."

A person is going to have sex, about 99% of the time before that child's parents would like them to. There is nothing that can be done about this. What can be done however is letting the child know what you think about everything.

My parents knew i was having sex before i was married, which they didn't approve of, and they really didn't approve because i was having it before i turned 18, but they also knew that they couldn't do anything about it. So they just sat me down and told me to be careful with my girlfriend and to only do it again if i really care about her. We've been together almost a year now.

Trippy raises a very good point. People realized that it was okay for women to go out and get a job, but now people need to realize that its okay to have a stay at home parent. I 100% agree with that, and i wish more people would see it, but what i do not agree with is needing a stay at home parent. Both of my parents work more than 40 hrs a week. They are at home and awake for a very small ammount of time and straight up told me, "son we trust you, do your best to not give us a reason to pay for a babysitter." That was when i was around 6-8.

 

[Arianelle]

I should also add, that doctor-patient confidentiality is only applicable after age 18.

Not true. At the age of seventeen or sixteen I was rushed to the ER (due to hemorrhaging) from my high school. Doctors refused to tell my mother what was going on until I was present to give them permission to tell her. The high school only informed her that I went to the ER and which one I went to.

Even when I saw a therapist in the 3rd grade, she was not allowed to tell my mother anything we talked about. The school guidance counselor has the same restrictions - unless they think you are going to harm yourself or someone else. I don't think sex falls under that category unless STDs are involved.

As long as you're a legal dependent, then the parents or legal guardians have every right to make medical decisions on your behalf.

True. You cannot refuse any treatment once it is OK'd by mommy or daddy, even if you are fully alert.

 

[Realia]

While I completely agree with the Doctor-Patient Confidentiality Act I can go right ahead and say that that shouldn't mean a doctor or nurse should keep information like "Your 12 year old daughter is having sex and is on birth-control", I'm sorry but that looks a little bit like Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor. If my child cannot vote, buy cigarettes (though of course this is not something I would particularly smile upon, don't get me wrong) or drive legally; there is no reason they should be doing anything without my express permission or knowledge. Especially if it is taking a prescription medication that I don't know if she's going to have adverse reactions. At that point, if my 12 year old child has a reaction and I don't know whats going on, what are the doctors going to tell me? "Oh, sorry ma'am, doctor-patient privilege'. They would have to carry me out in restraints.

Quoted for truth.

 

[Xalioniaf]

Some of the YouTube videos that have been posted here of the 1980s kids knowledge campaign, etc. are laughable. They were funny then but it was still serious business. You can tell just by watching those videos how innocent we were back then. Multicolored letters, Fonzy and cheering happy children were about all it took to really reach kids then, myself included. Now, kids are so over-exposed to sex and violence that its going to take a shitload more than a video and a 5 minute question and answer period like I had in junior high 'Sex Ed'.

Hey hey HEY!

Don't lump me with you geezers.

Like I said earlier, parents have to give their permission before their kids can even use the clinic (I hear if they stare at it for too long lasers will boil their eyes out). So it's not like it's entirely out of the parent's control.

 

[Fellina]

Not true. At the age of seventeen or sixteen I was rushed to the ER (due to hemorrhaging) from my high school. Doctors refused to tell my mother what was going on until I was present to give them permission to tell her. The high school only informed her that I went to the ER and which one I went to.

The high school was correct in only telling your mom where you were at; they're not medical professionals, so it's not their job to give out medical information. The doctors may have withheld the information until you gave permission, but by legal standards it was not the correct thing for them to do. They were probably hedging their bets in case you were legally emancipated; if they had continued to keep your medical info from your parents then they would have had a big lawsuit on their hands.

Even when I saw a therapist in the 3rd grade, she was not allowed to tell my mother anything we talked about. The school guidance counselor has the same restrictions - unless they think you are going to harm yourself or someone else. I don't think sex falls under that category unless STDs are involved.

Therapy is different from administering medical care. A psychiatrist doesn't have to say squat about what you talk about (unless they have reason to suspect abuse, which they are required by law to report), but I guarantee they need parental permission to prescribe you psychiatric prescriptions. Same thing with having sex; A doctor doesn't need to inform the parent that their child is having sex, but they do need parental consent to approve hormonal birth control or treatments for STD's. Doctors aren't going to rat you out for doing stuff that has had no impact on your current health, but if a parent needs to approve a medical treatment they have to be informed, even if that treatment is just the pill.

 

[Fellina]

Like I said earlier, parents have to give their permission before their kids can even use the clinic (I hear if they stare at it for too long lasers will boil their eyes out). So it's not like it's entirely out of the parent's control.

Here's the problem, as I stated before but probably not clearly enough. Giving permission to use the clinic is all-inclusive. So if you want your kids to have access to the information and free condoms, then you have to sign away your right to be informed of birth control prescriptions. They're trying to make it in for a penny, in for a pound; and that I feel is wrong. If they would just include parental notification for the hormonal birth control then I'd have no issues.

 

[Xalioniaf]

Here's the problem, as I stated before but probably not clearly enough. Giving permission to use the clinic is all-inclusive. So if you want your kids to have access to the information and free condoms, then you have to sign away your right to be informed of birth control prescriptions. They're trying to make it in for a penny, in for a pound; and that I feel is wrong. If they would just include parental notification for the hormonal birth control then I'd have no issues.

Slightly confused here. I was under the assumption that only access to the condoms and birth control was restricted unless signed off by a parent. You're saying the sex ed information itself is also off limits?

 

[Lyrai]

Again I want to bring up my point of that birth control isn't always prescribed because someone is having sex, more often that's not what it's for. Around 13 is when my doctor suggested I go on it, not only because my family has a history of ovarian cysts and cancer, but because my skin was so bad. My father said no, so I wasn't allowed to take it. Two years later I developed cysts, and was put on birth control for a short time, before my father stopped getting it for me.

I'm 18 now sure, so I could get it myself, but I don't have income or transportation. If I had been on birth control from when I was 13, I wouldn't have developed the problems I have now, so I'm a firm believer that unless the child's life is in danger, or it's something they truly can't make their own decisions about, then let them do what they need to do.

If they're having sex, be proud that they're taking on the responsibility to take birth control or use condoms. Kids should be well informed, I know I was pretty clueless about sex and people even my age are still clueless.

 

[crookedmidget]

I don't think Birth Control panels contraindicate with much more than antibiotics.
Irregardless, I would hope that clinic has the child's current medical information.

That is the challenge with clinics. Unless you go to them for all your needs or come in with medical file in hand, they're going to make an assessment without your records. They might ask you a few questions to see if you shouldn't get the pill, but I wouldn't rely on an 11 year old to answer these questions correctly. Does an 11 year old know if their family has a history blood clots (a contraindicator)? Probably not.

 

[Fellina]

From the article:

Students need parental permission to access the school's health center. But treatment is confidential under state law, which allows the students to decide whether to inform their parents about the services they receive.

It doesn't matter why they want to access the health center, even if it's just to ask questions of an impartial health expert they have to have parental permission; but that parental permission is being taken as carte blanche to give out medical treatments without the parents being informed. I think it's a great thing that they have this clinic to give the kids clear, accurate information during the most confusing time of adolescence, and provide them the means to stay safe via condoms. But that doesn't give them the right to usurp the parents' right to be informed of their child's medical treatments.

 

[Uzor]

The problem with sex, is that its somewhat taboo in the older generation. Most parents seem to expect the school to have sex-ed classes, because of the awkwardness of talking about sex with your children (and kids to parents). However, you never know who teaches your kids sex in school, and what their views on sex are. Look at all those crazy "You need to save yourself for marriage!" people. You wouldn't want them teaching your kids about sex, would you?

From the moment people mature enough, they'll have sexual feelings. That doesn't necessarily mean they're ready to have sex. I think its important for the school to have sex-ed classes, but the parents need to talk to their kids as well. While they shouldn't say sex is GOOD to have when you're 12, they need to say that its a natural thing. Not encourage, but teach, and tell them the importance of using protection. No matter how awkward it can be.

People always want a scapegoat. Sadly, most people use the television as a scapegoat. But the television is not to blame, the parents are. Sex isn't as taboo in the younger generation. People will talk to their friends about how they got laid etc, and if someone haven't had sex, especially among guys, there's a chance they'll feel like an outsider and rush things. Its the very same thing as cigarettes and alcohol among the younger people. If everyone talks about it, true or not, there's a chance other people will do it or use it as well, in order to not be an outsider, which is the number 1 fear across the world.

Additionally, if adults try to make something out to be forbidden, people WILL try it out, not only to see WHY its forbidden, but also to rebel against their parents. So no, the school or the television is not to blame. The parents are. Like it or not.

 

[Arianelle]

The high school was correct in only telling your mom where you were at; they're not medical professionals, so it's not their job to give out medical information. The doctors may have withheld the information until you gave permission, but by legal standards it was not the correct thing for them to do. They were probably hedging their bets in case you were legally emancipated; if they had continued to keep your medical info from your parents then they would have had a big lawsuit on their hands.

There is no emancipation laws in the state of Maryland. That just plain flat out told her that they can't say anything to her and if she wants to know she has to ask me.

Therapy is different from administering medical care. A psychiatrist doesn't have to say squat about what you talk about (unless they have reason to suspect abuse, which they are required by law to report), but I guarantee they need parental permission to prescribe you psychiatric prescriptions. Same thing with having sex; A doctor doesn't need to inform the parent that their child is having sex, but they do need parental consent to approve hormonal birth control or treatments for STD's. Doctors aren't going to rat you out for doing stuff that has had no impact on your current health, but if a parent needs to approve a medical treatment they have to be informed, even if that treatment is just the pill.

They can write you the Rx, but your parents still have to go fill it depending on your age... Also, doctor's can't tell about STDs either. One of my friend's had an STD, his mother answered the phone and the doctor said he had to speak to her son and could not tell her the issue. The doc told him about the STD and told him he could pick up his Rx. He did end up telling his mother, but he didn't have to and the doctor couldn't.

And with the pill, I know any random person can go to a health clinic (at least in my state) and get the pill or condoms with relatively few questions asked. I believe they do give you a pregnancy test and an exam, but no matter your age, they can't tell your parents. Planned Parenthood comes to mind. I think there's another clinic that will give you the pill for $1 (for one month's use). They also give free STD testing and can't disclose those results to anyone but you. Obviously, they keep their own medical records on each person who comes in and notifies the CDC of STD occurences.

The RIGHT thing to do is talk to your parents, but when you don't want to, at least in Maryland, there are a TON of other options.

 

[Mirewen]

In my opinion I guess it all boils down to whether or not you believe sex is a moral issue or just something to do for fun. For me, it's the former. I don't personally think kids have the life experience to judge what is and isn't right for them at that age. If you put a vat of ice cream in front of a kid, they'll eat it without thinking of the consequences. Many people form an emotional bond with the person they are having sex with, especially if it is for the first time. And again, with the proper upbringing, this shouldn't be an issue for the parent. If you want your kid to be promiscuous then that is your deal. My dad would have kicked my ass if I even had a thought about that in my head and I'm glad he would have.

I agree that there are medical reasons for a girl to be on birth control (regulating her period, less skin problems, etc. etc.) but in this instance it is for stopping girls from becoming pregnant. And again, with the proper upbringing, this shouldn't be an issue for the parent. If you want your kid to be promiscuous then that is your deal. My dad would have kicked my ass if I even had a thought about that in my head and I'm glad he would have. When it comes to reactions (there are several negative side effects that come along with birth control pills, including cerebral bleeding). Maybe they should be letting these girls know what the side effects are rather than just letting them believe they can have sex now and not get pregnant. There is more of a responsibility than just that.

 

[Rappa]

Again I want to bring up my point of that birth control isn't always prescribed because someone is having sex, more often that's not what it's for. Around 13 is when my doctor suggested I go on it, not only because my family has a history of ovarian cysts and cancer, but because my skin was so bad. My father said no, so I wasn't allowed to take it. Two years later I developed cysts, and was put on birth control for a short time, before my father stopped getting it for me.

The issue at hand isn't about this though. If you need birth control for something other than to prevent pregnancy, you need to talk to your parent about it, not sneak behind their back and get it from a school. Yes, birth control does more than prevent pregnancy, but if something's wrong with you and this is a possible solution, your family should be involved and you should see a real doctor to make sure it's the proper answer to the problem.

 

[Halifirien]

And again, with the proper upbringing, this shouldn't be an issue for the parent. If you want your kid to be promiscuous then that is your deal.

I wouldn't be so quick to equte "sexually active" with "promiscuous."

 

[Lyrai]

The issue at hand isn't about this though. If you need birth control for something other than to prevent pregnancy, you need to talk to your parent about it, not sneak behind their back and get it from a school. Yes, birth control does more than prevent pregnancy, but if something's wrong with you and this is a possible solution, your family should be involved and you should see a real doctor to make sure it's the proper answer to the problem.

But part of the issue is that my father couldn't, and still can't, look past the fact that it's used to prevent pregnancy. I also think a lot of young girls are scared to talk to their parents about the kinds of problems they might be having, especially in instances where they don't have a great family life, or possibly only live with their father. Even parents are ignorant to a lot of health issues. I used to get heavy, painful periods when I was younger and my father told me I should lose enough weight so I'd stop getting my period. That's a terrible thing to tell a young girl who's already ashamed of her body.

I think regardless of your morals, education is the key. Not just for kids, but for the parents as well. In a lot of other countries, STD's and unwanted pregnancies are higher because they're not aware of the precautions they should take. I don't think we should be teaching kids younger than 12 or 13, but that the taboo of it all should be taken away. Parents dread talking to their children about sex as much as kids dread hearing it.

A lot of schools in my area teach abstinence only, and barely even touch on birth control. They'll give exaggerated numbers on death rates from various diseases and complications and it scares kids more than anything. But even regardless of education, if they're willing enough, they're still going to have sex. You can't blame someone for getting pregnant if you didn't give them the methods of prevention beforehand.

 

[Rappa]

But part of the issue is that my father couldn't, and still can't, look past the fact that it's used to prevent pregnancy. I also think a lot of young girls are scared to talk to their parents about the kinds of problems they might be having, especially in instances where they don't have a great family life, or possibly only live with their father. Even parents are ignorant to a lot of health issues. I used to get heavy, painful periods when I was younger and my father told me I should lose enough weight so I'd stop getting my period. That's a terrible thing to tell a young girl who's already ashamed of her body.

Until you're 18 your parents have a lot of say over what you can and can't do. If you're having health problems you ask to go to a doctor with your parents so the doctor can explain why something would be beneficial for you to take. You don't just sneak behind their backs when they obviously disapprove and do it anyway.

I think regardless of your morals, education is the key. Not just for kids, but for the parents as well. In a lot of other countries, STD's and unwanted pregnancies are higher because they're not aware of the precautions they should take. I don't think we should be teaching kids younger than 12 or 13, but that the taboo of it all should be taken away. Parents dread talking to their children about sex as much as kids dread hearing it.

Education is obviously important and I don't think anyone's arguing that. If someone is choosing to bring up a child in the world they sure as hell should have some kind of idea what they are doing, which requires educating themselves. Then when it comes time for discussion about sex or whatever else, they should already have enough good knowledge to pass on to their kids.

A lot of schools in my area teach abstinence only, and barely even touch on birth control. They'll give exaggerated numbers on death rates from various diseases and complications and it scares kids more than anything. But even regardless of education, if they're willing enough, they're still going to have sex. You can't blame someone for getting pregnant if you didn't give them the methods of prevention beforehand.

Yes I can. If I've taught you correctly about sex, the risks of unprotected sex, and then you go and do it anyway, I sure as hell can blame you for it. Knowledge is just as much a method of prevention as a condom or anything else.