Suffering from Heartbreak

2-3 years. But it DOES go away. It also doesn't help if your constantly seeing the person daily or weekly. That'll add on a few more months.
 
Cua said:
2-3 years. But it DOES go away. It also doesn't help if your constantly seeing the person daily or weekly. That'll add on a few more months.
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Quoted for truth and emphasis based on personal experience.
 
If you can, move. It helps.

Being in a job where you move every 6 months to 3 years does have its advantages.
 
Lasts forever sometimes.

Everytime you are reminded about it, you'll still remember, maybe not as bad but you will.

If you don't, then it never really mattered that much in the first place. Thems the breaks pal, anything that can make you feel so good, has the propensity to also make you feel real bad.
 
Anttaru said:
5 Monthes later and i'm still feeling the effects, and it's driving me nuts. Any idea how long this shit usually lasts ?
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Steps for getting out of a rut:

1. Shave neckbeard.
2. Take a shower.
3. Go out and meet new women.
4. If 3 fails, pay for it.

You're heartbreak will be gone and you will realize what a stupid slut she was and kicking yourself why you cared so much.
 
You'll probably wanna get another g/f right now just to take your mind off of things and realize that there are different people just as equally, if not better, then she is. Like I'm one to talk.
 
loldoublepost?

Sorry about what happened to you, hope you get better though D:
 
GhostinmyShell said:
Steps for getting out of a rut:

1. Shave neckbeard.
2. Take a shower.
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My hygiene is well taken care of. If you knew me personally, you wouldn't have said that to me ; ;

Just to mention. I'm a normal guy that faces normal life challenges. These things happen to all kinds of people. Rich Celeb or poor street rat, no matter what level of status we are it can happen.
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She has become quite the slut which is devastating me more than anything.

I've read online how a Woman was widowed from her husbands death, then she started seeing someone who ended up leaving her. She says how she felt "less pain" when her beloved husband died, as opposed to being left for someone else.

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I live in Toronto which is rated the hardest place on the planet to pick up women. Granted such enviroment causes even us average joe's to evolve into studs ^^ Still that is only in the eyes of outsiders, Toronto men find women outside of the province easy going. Comedians speak the truth when they joke about approaching women in Toronto which makes them damn funny, those jokes are probably exclusively funny to people who know about approaching women in Toronto.

I've known her 11 years ago, we dated back then, over an argument we stoped talking for a long time, and lived our lives, i was with another woman for 6 years in between. Still i had many toughts of this woman i use to date.

My 6 year relationship was cracking, and during the end days of it, ExGF called my mothers house looking for me.... My Mother told me about it but i never told my GF about it cause she would have freaked out ... So my mother tells my GF that my ex called and all of a sudden..... My GFs friends are taking a tone with me, her family especially her grandmother are turning colder and colder. My GF asked me why didin't i tell her. I said it was not a good idea, look what's happening now.

Life changed moved out whatever. I'm glad. Freedom.

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A year later i get in touch with this girl again. (The one i knew 11 years ago) We were reunited in a way. We were on the phone and all she can talk about was the late teen version of me trying to score with her, even after she tells me she met someone. (I'm seeing why i'm deserving this in a way. But i wanted her back just the same). Her relationship with the other guy came to an end. he treated her like shit and they would fight often.

She comes to my place and we drink and party and ended up seeing one another once more. It was what i wanted for so long.

She cheats
Which is ironic for me because in my last relationship i was always under the looking glass about cheating and eventually falsely accused of this. (Which is ok cause i'm happier out of that relationship)

Last summer i was working on too many thing to spend too much time away from it all. She tells me she's going on a camping trip. She loves camping and it's difficult for her to refuse an oppertunity to do so.

So i say:

Me>> okay, who are you going whith ?...

Her>> My friends ...

Her>> It's going to be great, gonna go conoeing and gonna tan nakid by the lake etc...

Me>> ...

Her>> Don't worry

Me>> Who are you're friends that will be attending ?

Her>> Carlos and Christian

[Christian = ex BF]

Me: I'm not too happy to hear you're going camping with those guys

Her>> We are all just friends now, nothing will happen

Me thinking trust is a valuable part of a relationship in order for it to work out. And how at this point telling her no can destroy what we have, i say with a plastic smile

Me: Okay have a good time.

Her trip lasted 2 days longer than it was supose to, i was pretty mad, When she returns she calls me. First thing i ask.

Me>> So did anything happen ?

Her>> ....

Her>> You.... asked.... so sudden.

Me>> Well what do you exspect ? You go to a great forest with 2 Man and i can't even talk to you. What happened while you were out there skinny dipping ?

Her>> .....I..............................................

Few days pass... she calls me up late one night.... "Anthony please come and see me please !!!"... Like she was begging for her life. I should have stayed home to let her suffer, but instead i went down. She was crying the whole night through, telling me how terrible she is, and that she is sorry.

So i find it in my heart to let it slide. As i've read alot about cheating in relationships it happens all the time and people forgive and not do it again.

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Many monthes later, being unperfect as any. I show up late for this tango class we were schedualed to go to. (The kind of shit i did just for her). She was angry, and also very exausted from a double shift she just finished. So i let her know how sorry i am, and i really was, she said she's going to go home and sleep. I said ok, call me when you get home.

I get home... 10 minutes later my phone rings. It was her, And with a confident blush in her voice she says "Ok" And i can hear 2MAN !! in the background like it was party time. the again she says the same thing in the same voice, except it was like "Ok ?"...

Me >> Where are you ?

Her>> I'm at a friends house

Me>> Who is you're friend ?

Her>> Carlos

Me>> Carlos eh.. Isn't that Christians friend ?

Her>> Well he's my friend too .... sorta...

Me>> I hear "pure" dudes in the background there. I'm guessing Christian is there too.

Her>> Yes

Me>> I thought you were exausted and wanted to sleep.

Her>> Well Carlos invited me over to smoke a joint, and it was on the way to my house so...

Me>> Okay whatever, call me later....

Her>> Ok bye

Within 30 seconds i call her back cause i wasn't having it this time

Her phone rings no answer. Answering machine come on.

call again right after, phone rings once, answering machine.

So she screened my call and directed me to her answering machine. I seen her screen her friends and family before.

I call her the next day around noon and she is half asleep. All i asked was when did she get home, and she started freaking out

Her >> "Who the fuck are you ? Why can't i have any friends ?"

So this relationship as come to an end. There were more good memories than bad ones. We spoke yesterday after all this time and she tells me she went to Mexico alone, to see her girlfriend who moved there, Had knee surgery, moved back in with her mother, and is back with Christian.

My suffering has been off and on over the span of 5 monthes now. Past 2 weeks it's been hitting me hard. I managed to stay cool after our conversation. Maybe all i wanted was better closure than to be cursed off for no reason lol. Or Maybe our last conversation as pleasant as it was, will strike me down any minute now, or in the future. So far my emotions has been stable since we spoke. It's still haunting me though.

None of these bad experiences i had with her shapes me up for my next relationship. Still i will move foward, and this time i will make sure i'm not getting involved with a filthy vagina. Which is damn difficult in this "Sex and the City, whore, slut, rare marrage materal world" we live in.
 
Getting closure was pretty much the most important thing for me when my ex broke up with me. I guess being 5000 miles away and breaking up with someone over the phone wasn't good enough for me.

Getting closure is important, and afterwards you should feel better, more free and independent. You'll think about her for a while, perhaps a long time, but going out and trying to meet other women help. So it might be hard to meet women in Toronto, I would suggest going some place close to home but not Toronto to try and meet women.

Hell, you could cross the boarder to Michigan and meet some women in D-town (Detroit). I've meet some pretty cool people there, though I don't think you'll find too many that don't have a "filthy vagina" as you put it.

It took me a long time to not care about my ex, so don't think that one day the pain is just going to go away. It will be a slow process but going through it one day at a time is sometimes the best way.

Feel better Ant, and if you need someone to talk to I'll be happy to listen.
 
Chuash said:
other fish in the sea man.. find a rebound chick.. just don't get one who is "one with the sea" lol
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Worst advice you can give a person, ever. Unless of course that person is scum to begin with.

After reading the story of what happened, I would find it difficult to care about someone who didn't really ever seem to have your feelings in their mind, but i'm guessing in some way she made you happy, because otherwise you wouldn't have such a struggle moving on.

Anyways, try to move your focus to other things that make you happy in life. I'm pretty sure one day the hurt you have will heal. The trick I think is to be optimistic about your future. As the saying goes, "it can't rain everyday".

Hope you can move on and feel better down the road. Sorry for what happened.
 
in my experience it can last forever until you realize they have changed or maybe they are not what you wanted and you can let go.
ive only been heartbroken twice. the first one lasted 7 years, didnt end till this year.
she was my first love, we were together for a year then we broke up and remained friends for awhile then slowly drifted apart. i had not seen her in years nor did i know where she was,
i was trying to find her for 2 - 3 years just to see whats up and how life was, i even asked for tips on this very site for how to find old friends.
finally, this past year i decided to browse again like i do every so often.
found her on myspace, a place ive searched many times before.
I browsed her profile, talked to her about how things had been the past few years.
and i realized, she had travelled the world and did far more with her life than i could have ever offered her. and thats the moment the heart break ended and i was relieved of all heartbreak i ever had.

the 2nd was a girl i was engaged to, whom long story short. Stood up for my rights, police stepped in, word got around, her parents heard, thought i was some gang leader (lol!), split us up. never saw her again for years.
saw her at a tool concert, heard she was getting married that week and moving acrossed the U.S.
heart break hit harder.
she got married, moved, and found a way to contact me. we kept in touch...eventually i convinced her to get a divorce and come back home to me.
she did...but it took a long time.
and by time she got here...i was married myself and moved on.

Heart break i think is harder to let go without some sort of closure, where you are certain they are not what you remembered and wanted.
I dont think, without closure i would have ever let go of these heartbreaks.
you may want to take alot of time to clear your mind, and then seek that closure somehow.
 
Chuash said:
other fish in the sea man.. find a rebound chick.. just don't get one who is "one with the sea" lol
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Zerayla said:
Worst advice you can give a person, ever.
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Quoted for emphasis on truth

I know that if me and fiance broke up for some reason down the line i would be crushed

I dont know if i COULD get over it, or if even wanted to

if u find true love there isnt anyone that can replace him/her after some shit goes down

thats just my opinion tho
 
feel better dude, we talked about this a million times. You need me i am there for ya bud.
 
Heartbreak can last a very long time. Sometimes it takes a very long cooling down period before you can get together with someone again, meaningfully. Otherwise you'd be cheating yourself and someone else, that might grow to care for you quite a bit, out of a real relationship.

Don't try to go and replace her immediately. Though it was a shitty thing to do on her part (like horribly shitty), just relax, take time to yourself to heal and just become at peace with the entire situation. For a while, try to cut her out as best you can. You will be dwelling upon it mentally for some time, so try to avoid seeing her or running into her for maybe a few weeks.

In the end, as it seems to me, this was a good thing. The relationship was toxic, by what evidence you've posted here, and its good to get away from that. I am sorry you're so hurt, unfortunately its a necessary evil of life. Countless numbers of people that read this thread have probably felt this at one point or another, for any number of reasons. The pain will subside, just give it time.
 
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